I like the story so far, however what you have written is basically a summary of the first 10 minutes of gameplay. It would be nice to include some background or hint at what could be happening in this new dimension. Information about MEGA-Corp would be great as they seem to have importance? ;D
I like the choice of Starter, Surskit is one of my favourites :3. I also appreciate how there is an emotional connection to the starter rather than just being given it.
It could do with a bit more variety: less straight tree boundaries in particular.
Your use of rocks and hedges is also excessive, generally I wouldn't include rocks far away from a mountain/ledge area as they look out of place. Hedges should probably be used more sparingly and if you want a big hedge use the connectable ones.
Keep up the good work and I look forward to finding out how the story develops.