Thread: Ruby hack: Pokémon Dragonstone Version
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Old February 28th, 2012 (03:38 PM).
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Inyotef Inyotef is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Between the whale and wasp
Age: 17
Gender: Male
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Quote originally posted by SwiftSign:
I like the story so far, however what you have written is basically a summary of the first 10 minutes of gameplay. It would be nice to include some background or hint at what could be happening in this new dimension. Information about MEGA-Corp would be great as they seem to have importance? ;D

I like the choice of Starter, Surskit is one of my favourites :3. I also appreciate how there is an emotional connection to the starter rather than just being given it.

Some criticisms:

Your mapping seems to be your Achilles Heel, some portions are very square like:

It could do with a bit more variety: less straight tree boundaries in particular.

Your use of rocks and hedges is also excessive, generally I wouldn't include rocks far away from a mountain/ledge area as they look out of place. Hedges should probably be used more sparingly and if you want a big hedge use the connectable ones.

Keep up the good work and I look forward to finding out how the story develops.
Well, that square-ish area was sort of unfinished ; I'm hardly ever tentative when it comes to placing eye candy in a hack

The hedges were part of a chain pattern, hence why there's so many of them.
I want to have my hand held tightly,
and be woven in a hug
I wanna be sung to, put on the spot
And told I'm really what you want
I want roses, I want flowers; I want a kiss too
Can you show everyone how special I am to you?
Can you carry me in your arms?

That same me wants to protect, to uphold
To look out for you and ensure your health
I'd take the fall for what's wrong with you
Do you want to be carried? To have your hand held?
I would write a sonata for you as soon as the inspiration came
We could go on an adventure, I could be your guide
We'll be like little kids again, with all the fun and bliss

We'll have the time of our lives, we'll be lovers under the moon
Sipping lemon and breathing in the mountains
And we'll go to sleep as one and never wake up