Thank you very much for your comment Cutlerine, firstly I'd like to say I'm very excited that you read this since Snakewood was one of my favorite Hacks to play so you're somewhat of a celebrity in my mind.
Now, on to the comments, the second chapter was actually a response to trying to add more backstory to Marcus after Psy pointed out that there was really no way to understand why Marcus was set out to become a trainer. I ended up writing up that chapter with those thoughts in mind and spaced out just actually editing the story itself.
For the chapter endings, I will do my best to work on that weakness of mine.
The rest of the errors are generally typos, I tend to proofread my own things but I do it in such a haste that things escape me, I know I should look over them multiple times and I'll do my best to work on that. As for bolding the speaking parts, that's just something that my years of roleplaying writing style has on me.
But all in all, your comment is very constructive and I will do my best to properly make this fic flow and let everyone enjoy reading it.
As always, comments are appreciated.