Thread: [Pokémon] Resistance [PG-13]
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Old March 14th, 2012, 12:55 PM
DarkIceForever's Avatar
DarkIceForever
Booted out - don't be like me!
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California
Gender: Female
Nature: Adamant
Your story is poorly written. I'm not trying to discourage you from writing but it sounds really werid if you read it. I'm not too sure what's going on in your story. There are also a ton of grammer mistakes. You cut off too quickly between sentences and you lack in giving me a vivid picture of the events. The main thing I understand is that this is a original trainer fiction with some relation to a drought. Intresting way of starting a story without a doubt, but if your story was better written it would be "enjoyable." I wish I could give you a constructive review, but I am out of time! Sorry x_x!

EDIT: Do not rush through your story. If you wanted to get some ideas down you could write on paper or better yet type on a word processor. You don't have to post your rough draft. Honestly this looks like a rough draft I would write. Brainstorm all your ideas, no rushing anymore. Relax there is no due dates or deadlines so take your time. When I write I usually let the ideas flow and it sometimes makes no sense, but I later come back to it (days or even weeks later) and improve it. For example I thought of a story I like, so I wrote it down on Word. I came back to the story weeks later and I did a total overhaul and now it feels perfect to me. Anyways I like to check up on newbies, even if I'm not so experienced in writing myself. (Cuz it makes me feel good to help!)

Last edited by DarkIceForever; March 15th, 2012 at 02:28 PM.
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