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Old March 15th, 2012 (03:22 PM).
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psyanic psyanic is offline
There's Something About Lamps
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The USA
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Nature: Bold
Posts: 1,283
Glad to see you want to write stories! Welcome to FF&W and the magical world of writing Pokemon fics!

Before I say anything about what you wrote down, you might want to check your spelling and grammar and basic mechanics. Just from what you said, you don't space after commas, don't spell things correctly, using the wrong "their, they're, there", etc. So before you post, save readers the trouble of those errors so they can read it enjoyably and without too much of a hassle.

Sorry to tell you but having not one but two trainers traveling together is not something unspeakably new. It's a slightly different approach, but it's still pretty darn close to standard anyway.

Okay, so now you outlined us the characters. I think that's one of the biggest mistakes new writers tend to make. Do not save readers the trouble and try listing out random facts about your characters. You have appearances, and in stories, you usually don't bother with them. They're not important. Readers don't read because the main character is sexy. They read because the characters are interesting and have some kind of personality, which supplements a good ole plot. When you start telling us Dalex is 5'11, the first thing people think will be, "So what? Who cares?" Don't make that mistake. The same goes with the history. Unless it's completely vital to the plot, don't bother. It's also unimportant. Of course, if it somehow shapes how the character interacts because of a bad experience, then yeah, say something about it. But don't give us an biography on all the useless information.

And finally, you don't tell us much about the plot at all. You tell us everything but the plot, actually. Characters, setting, no plot. So there isn't much to say about that. I can only guess the two characters will travel Unova, get badges, conquer the Pokemon league while they beat Team Shadow.
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