Melly's "Beast"ly Adventure
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March 22nd, 2012, 03:19 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Psyanic has given you some very good advice.
I like this story so far. It's just a nice simple sort of snapshot of the life of a Pokémon trainer. The Pokémon themselves have strong personalities, which is something I really appreciate. Some writers just treat the Pokémon as weapons for their heroes to use.
I have one complaint. This story is not giving me any sense of pacing. How long did it take for Fluffy to evolve, for instance? Hours? Days? Weeks? How far is the cave from the Pokémon Center? Think about stuff like that.
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