Retail Workers Union
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April 28th, 2012 (10:48 AM).
The Fresh Prince of Kanto
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Three thousand miles from home
Hello! Joining! Also, curious as to whether we count as a real union yet - can we call a strike if we feel like it? (Not a namby-pamby Aussie strike, Andy, a proper British right-hook to the teeth. That kind of strike. That gets people's attention.) I have a feeling we could improve lives the world over, and Mr Google has just informed me very kindly that not only is our right to form protected by federal law, but that all we need in order to do so is a Union Authorisation Card. So if someone could Photoshop one of those toot-sweet, it'd be much appreciated. >:)
do I have stories to share with you all. Somehow, using the skinniest skin of my teeth, I managed to claw my way out of retail a while back, but my time there left deep scars I doubt will ever properly heal. Like the purple vomit, for one thing. In a food shop. Purple vomit. Properly genuinely. Here's how the conversation went:
ME: Um. Uh. I don't want to - could you - seriously, what
BOSSMAN: *grunting* WHAT?
ME: That. That purplish stuff. The stuff that looks like the accidental progeny of a disgruntled tub of couscous and a suicidal beetroot. What is it?
BOSSMAN: WHAT? *grunts heavily* ME NEVER NOTICED. ME NOT CARE. NOW GO IN FRIDGE.
ME: The fridge?! Oh, sir, please. I'll do anything. I'll navigate the heinous delivery backlog or lick the greasy hair out of your face. I'll even get those Christmas wrapping paper tubes out of the staff toilet where, as you so wisely reasoned at the time, 'THEY NOT MIND COS IN PLASTIC'. Just not the fridge. Not the fridge.
And then of course I have to go and lock myself in the vile contraption. I felt like a bullied polar bear. Surrounded by yoghurt - hateful, sickly, beige, out-of-date yoghurt. I still shiver reflexively whenever
comes on. (But that advert's terrifying enough anyway, I suppose.)
...That's just the tip of the iceberg, so I won't inflict any more on you, despite the wonderful feeling of relief that's just swept over me. Oh, it's good to emote. My system feels cleaner already.
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