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Old April 28th, 2012 (4:54 PM).
Shining Raichu's Avatar
Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
Platinum Tier
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Australia
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
Posts: 9,057
Welcome Barrels, Sector Revenge and aRedMoon :D

Originally Posted by Barrels View Post
Hello! Joining! Also, curious as to whether we count as a real union yet - can we call a strike if we feel like it? (Not a namby-pamby Aussie strike, Andy, a proper British right-hook to the teeth. That kind of strike. That gets people's attention.) I have a feeling we could improve lives the world over, and Mr Google has just informed me very kindly that not only is our right to form protected by federal law, but that all we need in order to do so is a Union Authorisation Card. So if someone could Photoshop one of those toot-sweet, it'd be much appreciated.

And my do I have stories to share with you all. Somehow, using the skinniest skin of my teeth, I managed to claw my way out of retail a while back, but my time there left deep scars I doubt will ever properly heal. Like the purple vomit, for one thing. In a food shop. Purple vomit. Properly genuinely. Here's how the conversation went:

ME: Um. Uh. I don't want to - could you - seriously, what is that?
BOSSMAN: *grunting* WHAT?
ME: That. That purplish stuff. The stuff that looks like the accidental progeny of a disgruntled tub of couscous and a suicidal beetroot. What is it?
ME: The fridge?! Oh, sir, please. I'll do anything. I'll navigate the heinous delivery backlog or lick the greasy hair out of your face. I'll even get those Christmas wrapping paper tubes out of the staff toilet where, as you so wisely reasoned at the time, 'THEY NOT MIND COS IN PLASTIC'. Just not the fridge. Not the fridge.
BOSSMAN: *booms* FRIDGE!!!
ME: *scurries* Yessirofcoursesirwhurreveryousaysir!

And then of course I have to go and lock myself in the vile contraption. I felt like a bullied polar bear. Surrounded by yoghurt - hateful, sickly, beige, out-of-date yoghurt. I still shiver reflexively whenever this advert comes on. (But that advert's terrifying enough anyway, I suppose.)

...That's just the tip of the iceberg, so I won't inflict any more on you, despite the wonderful feeling of relief that's just swept over me. Oh, it's good to emote. My system feels cleaner already.
LMAO. Dude, I wasn't kidding, not even in the slightest, when I told you you had to be a writer or I'd smash your kneecaps so that you'd have no other option. Legit, you are the funniest person I have ever met and I don't think even a case of life in a wheelchair would put an end to your out-of-this-world levels of humour.

Also, what is a namby-pamby Aussie strike? I've never come across an Australian strike so I have no idea how they compare to the British ones

Originally Posted by Sector Revenge
My mom always get called her, just like her last job, to replace the sick cashiers. But want to know something? My mom is friends with most of them on Facebook, and when she gets home later that night or the day after, she sees them posting status about "Fun day at Kalahari(Indoor Water Park), Cedar Point(Amusement Park) today was amazing, etc" And they aren't even 10 minutes from Meijers either!
This happens to me too. Where I work there are only five people, and since I have the least contracted hours I'm always the one called to do extra shifts if somebody has taken the day off for 'sickness'. Usually I don't care in the slightest because I am three years into a passionate love affair with money and I love the euphoric feeling when my paycheck is larger than anticipated, but every so often it annoys the crap out of me when I have to work a Friday night where I had plans just because someone is "sick" only to find out later that they had so much fun with their plans. It's so damn selfish.

"So this is why God bombed us."

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