In the world you are about to enter, you will embark on a blah, blah, blah, no one ever reads the boring parts, A, A, A, A, A, maybe if I hold B it’ll go quicker! Ah! It appears as if it does!
And that is just the beginning my friends, This is the first part of my new series about a ten year old named Red who everyone calls Derp for some reason, it happens. This series will include language that adults will say is offensive for you kiddos but theres nothing in here that I would ever say in front of kids, you've been warned booger breath :3 Oh and go ahead and criticize my work! Creative or detrimental is fine so long as you aren't straight up rude. I hope you enjoy the series!
“Hello there, glad to meet you!” the gut, I’m sorry the old man, I couldn’t help but look at how…large he looks now, maybe 8-bit graphics really is the way to go, I hope he never goes HD, I don’t want to see your wrinkles professor! And of course he ignores me, he always drones on and on without paying attention.
“Welcome to the World of Pokémon” he continued, and I reply I’ve lived here all my life professor, I’m your neighbor, you’ve known me since I was in diapers! “My name is Oak” I facepalm, he continues with his Alzheimer-style grin with a vacant look in his eyes. “People affectionately refer to me as the Pokémon Professor” I don’t even bother to tell him I know he’s the Pokémon professor, I don’t know why I ever bother at all.
“This world is inhabited far and wide….” And there I go, spacing off into my theme song, because hey, every great journey needs a theme song right? You need something to bop your head to as you search far and wide, these Pokémon to understand the power that’s inside…“I study Pokémon as a profession, but first tell me about yourself, now tell me. Are you a boy, or a girl?”
I look at him as if he’s gone completely mental and tell him I’m a boy, “A girl, eh? Such a lovely young lass you are, or at least I think you are, I left my glasses at home…or at the Pokemart. They’re somewhere.” he says with a crinkly and kind old smile, the type of smile that makes it very hard to get mad at him. He doesn’t even wear glasses. “So what’s your name lassie?” My eye twitches in anger but I keep a very bad and bright red poker face.
Red, your male neighbor since I was a baby ya old coot, I think in my head but I just tell him the first word of my thoughts
“Right…so your name is Derp.” It wasn’t even a question it was a statement, as is mine: No, it’s Red.
“This is my grandson. He’s been your rival since you were both babies.” So now you can remember I grew up around here, huh? Stupid old geezer, also where did that jerk come from? The professor continued, “Erm, what was his name again?” And at that I finally grin, meh gusta or troll face? I think I manage to pull both off at the same time.
“Uh, gramps? You know my name is Gary right? You even gave me the nickname Green cause…I don’t know but it was cool and the opposite of Red. Mortal enemies remember?” I don’t know where mortal enemies came from, its not like I don’t like the guy, I just extremely, highly despise his very being. And he sent fruitcake during the holidays. It was fiendishly tasty.
“Er, was it Green? That’s right! I remember now! His name is Gary, I nicknamed him Green cause it’s the opposite of Red in the color wheel, it also happens to be your name, and you have lived here being my male neighbor since you were a baby!” and then his eyes go blank and he repeats himself, “Er, was it Butt? That’s right! I remember now! His name is Butt!”
Green, I mean Butt, had his mouth all agape and his eyes were bulging, “Gramps!” he screamed, “seriously? Did you even take your meds today?”
“Derp! Your very own Pokémon legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with Pokémon awaits! Lets go!” And Butt is apparently forgotten as the professor continues with his outro to his intro…Wait a minute, how did I get inside my room? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?