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Old June 15th, 2012, 02:04 PM
NikNaks's Avatar
NikNaks
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: England
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
I think people are being put off by this because it consists of mostly text, and it actually requires you to read it to appreciate it.

I like it. Pretty much all of it. You've thought about the plot and backstory a lot more than the Nintendo games do (only BW is anywhere close), yet you've still managed to intertwine it with something more familiar with the old Johto myths. I also like your explanation of Deoxys, although the fact that it is still considered a Pokémon despite being an alien genetically might be something you would like to consider. I rather suspect you already have.

One thing that does confuse me is perhaps this:

"Though Mew is a powerful Pokémon, it is extremely rare due to a combination of this evolution and overhunting."

If Mew is so powerful and adaptable, the fact that it has evolved into weaker and more specialised Pokémon seems a bit odd. Wouldn't it evolve into something stronger or at least as strong? And why would it need to evolve anyway if it can cope so well without?

Things tend to evolve to adapt to their surroundings, so the fact that any survive at all in their original form might suggest that Mew is particularly adapted to some areas, though. Perhaps this could be exploited in some way?

Anyhow, enough about that.

Your characters are generally fine, although I must say having names like Henjin and Ryuji juxtaposed with more Western-sounding names is a little jarring to me, and it's not something Nintendo tends to do as far as I can see. Is there a culture clash in the region, perhaps?

Your change to HMs is also fairly well thought out, although the Biomech is bizarre, certainly. I would suggest something less futuristic, and to consider removing rock blockers altogether. Replace them with another barrier that you can have a less unusual item. Just my opinion, though.

As I said on the IRC, I would be more than willing to contribute a map to the project, so more information on the region itself would be welcome.

Good work so far. It's a shame that only screenshots seem to garner replies here at the moment. I'm sure once you get some artwork, responses will flood in.
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