The Beta Thread (3.0)
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July 1st, 2012 (09:09 PM).
Pkmn Trainer Butthead
Proto (Not the *****)
Join Date: Apr 2012
I'm looking for a Beta Reader for my new fanfic
Title of Story: Wise Guys (WIP, if aformentioned Beta Reader has a better title idea, I will consider their opinion)
Fandom: Any Mafia movies, games etc..
This story follows the story of Francisco Botenzi, who was born to two Sicilian immigrants. Out of a job, Francisco, or Frank as he is called, is forced into finding creative ways to pay his bills, and is looking for something a bit better than the labour jobs his parents were forced into. Through connections, Francisco meets Emmanuel "Manny" Rennasino, who is a successful, business oriented wise guy. Frank has started working for Manny, in order to pay his bills and create a better life for himself then he had growing up. But Frank will come to see that it isn't easy in this business.
Genre: Action, Crime
Rating: M for violence, depictions of crime, coarse language, suggestive themes, alcohol references, sexual themes (nothing too hardcore)
Type of mentor needed: comprehensive, plot, character
Writing sample of story:
“ Hey Manny,” was the sound rippling through Gino’s Bar, the central drinking hole of Little Italy, the nickname of the Italian Ghetto in Seaport.
It was Antonio “Tony” Lombardi, son of the leader of the Lombardi family, Ricardo Lombardi. Tony was a bit of a spoiled brat, but in honesty, Manny didn’t mind the guy. Tony was wearing a black three-piece suit, which is what most Mafioso prefer to wear. Tony was a short guy, but built like a tank. Tony is a pretty good fighter, and few could match with him. Tony had his short black hair gelled back.
“ Hello Tony, what is it,” was Manny’s reply as he shook Tony’s hand.
Tony was usually Ricardo’s messenger boy, so Manny knew something was up. Tony motioned Manny to follow him to a booth, and the two sat down inside the booth of the Bar.
“ So, Manny it seems that French b*****d Giguere has decided to not pay his protection costs. You know, for his tailor shop on Thirty-fourth Street. I need you to remind him why he needs to pay those costs. I had Dad call off the protectors, so you can move right in,” Tony explained to Manny.
Manny nodded in approval.
“ Yea, I can send some of my guys on it,” Manny replied, brushing off Tony’s hinting that he wanted Manny to do it.
“ May I ask who these guys are, if you have made your decision,” Tony quietly asked Manny.
“ Freddy Salence and Frank Botenzi,” Manny quickly replied,
“ I’ve been looking for a chance to test Frank.”
“ Good, good,” Tony assured himself.
“ Now, I must be going now, Father has some business for me, so arrivederci my friend.” With that, Tony got up and left the bar.
That gave time for Manny to do some planning. Manny got up out of the booth and over to the public telephone. Manny picked the phone up, and began dialing Frank’s number.
Other: This is my first fanfic, but I do have RP'ing experience so keep those things in mind. (Not to sound like a d!ck) I also tend to have short chapters as well
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