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Old July 3rd, 2012, 08:58 AM
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Lavaridge
Beginning Trainer
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Hi everyone - this is my first post on PokeCommunity and will hopefully lead to my first Pokemon fan fic. I usually write fan fics as screenplays, so I'm quite excited to write this one in story form. I'm trying to write a sort of series of episodes (each a story in itself but with a continuing arc) from the point of view of the main character, Maylee (though in 3rd person). I have the bigger picture sorted out, but the first episode/story is tricky. The plot idea for it is in spoiler tags because I've written a lot and don't want to fill up the page.


Spoiler:
It begins with a prologue – Jake is a trainer battling the Alola Town grass gym leader, Aria. Aria knows she's the first gym leader, there only to separate the weak from the utterly useless, so is more interested in making her gym pleasant on the eyes than she is in appearing intimidating, which later gym leaders will no doubt attempt to be. Aria battles well, but Jake defeats her first Pokemon. Despite the weather outside having been sunny when the battle started, it quickly becomes a storm. Jake and Aria continue to battle but eventually become distracted when thunder, lightning, and objects being carried by the wind become too scary to ignore. The two stand by the huge glass window in awe, before a gust of wind blows through the window and sends them both plummeting to the ground at least a storey below. The reader can assume they are either dead or unconscious by the chapter ending.


Then chapter one begins quickly with Maylee being strangled by a mysterious figure. She is weak and confused, but tries to fight him off in the mud, wind and rain. She does a decent job, but eventually collapses after a few strong blows. Luckily, a Growlithe jumps seemingly out of nowhere and bites the attacker, who Maylee then goes on to knock out cold. She looks around and sees two bodies on the ground - a boy and a young woman. They desperately check to see if they are alive, (the boy just about manages to open his eyes) and then start shouting/barking for help as they hear emergency services in the distance, though they are themselves weak.

In chapter two, Maylee wakes up in the Pokemon Centre in a bed with Growlithe by her side and the boy she helped rescue in the bed next to her. He is already awake, and speaks to her. She finds out he is called Jake - a Pokemon trainer who was injured when the gym was hit by the storm. He says Aria is in much worse shape than he is. Maylee looks a fool when interacting with Growlithe as she refers to it as a 'dog' and believes it to have dog-like intelligence. She has no idea what a Pokemon is. We also find out that Maylee has no memories of who she is or why she woke up where she did - Nurse Joy says they had to find clothes for her because she had nothing on her, nor any possessions or identification, when they found her. Jake decides to take her to Professor Linden's lab.

When they arrive, they are introduced to Professor Linden and his daughter, Monica, who is an aspiring physicist (though with an interest in Pokemon). Linden gives a Gameboy-style speech about Pokemon and is astounded that Maylee has no memories but still has knowledge of her name and how to speak etc - he does a search and finds no record of her anywhere. Linden notices Growlithe's attachment to Maylee and encourages her to try battling – because being a Pokemon trainer is a good way to learn about the world. It's also mentioned that the storm was very unusual, and that Linden is analyzing data from it as they speak. As they leave, Maylee notices that one of the lab assistants looks awfully like the man who attacked her.


Maylee and Jake have a practice battle, but it doesn't go well for her – she doesn't feel a connection with Growlithe and finds it hard to command him. Jake talks to her about it and she tells him about the attack and about Linden's assistant. Jake has trouble believing her, and reminds her that, as she was found almost passed out naked in the mud and rain, she could very well have been hallucinating and, even if she wasn't, she's not even sure herself that it's the same person.


<- Gap


Maylee sneaks into Linden's Lab at night and without Jake's knowledge with Growlithe and finds two Team Rocket grunts looking around. Without any idea how she developed the skills, she sneaks up behind them and effortlessly knocks them unconscious. As she proceeds further, she sees all sorts of boxes and computers, all stealing data. She eventually reaches the main lab, where Linden (and Monica perhaps, depending on gap) are being held hostage by a Rocket duo and a few guards. Maylee is forced to battle them and, during the fight starts to bond with Growlithe – understanding it and feeling what it feels. It is about to be knocked unconscious by the powerful Rocket pokemon, but Jake's pokemon intervenes from nowhere and distracts it long enough for Maylee to get Growlithe to use a fire attack. The Rocket pokemon is defeated, but the duo escape with the stolen data. Linden explains he'd found very strange readings from the storm, some almost resembling Pokemon and some he just couldn't understand at all. He's convinced Team Rocket are up to no good, but also that the information may concern Maylee and how she got where she did – perhaps why his assistant (who was working for TR after all) wanted to kidnap her.


Linden suggests that Maylee stay with them – they are about to travel to the next town where they can go to the research centre there. It's also the direction the Rocket agents were heading. Jake interrupts and points out that, after Maylee's impressive battle performance, he'd be happy to accompany her to the next town and show her how to be a trainer. Maylee seems far more happy with the second option and the pair decide to hunt down the rocket agents, recover the data and visit the research facility as well.


As for the characters:

Spoiler:


Maylee will come across as arrogant and aggressive, though not necessarily selfish; but quick to act and often unwilling to listen to reason. Nethertheless, we will find that she has keen instincts and, over the course of the series, hidden knowledge and abilities which may be key to stopping the Team Rocket plan. One of the main points will be Maylee discovering herself and bettering her relationship with people and pokemon.


Jake is much more calm and much less aggressive. He's actually more interested in learning about Pokemon than he is in battling them, and he's only really a trainer because it's a fantastic way to learn and discover. Maylee will become the serious trainer/battler over time. I really want to find a way to make sure that Jake doesn't come across as the main character in this story despite appearing first. I also want to make sure that he is the one following Maylee on her journey – as Maylee is the Ash of this series and Jake is the Misty :D


A third character will probably be introduced in the next story (assuming I finish this one) to make a trio - and I'm sure some romances and stuff will come into it at some point. The stories themselves will probably feature more conventional violence and less pokemon battling than the games and anime, though there will obviously be some battling as well; after all, Maylee is going to become a Pokemon trainer and will end up in gyms etc when not saving the world.

So I ask for your help:

Firstly and mainly in working out what to put in the gap - something which leads Maylee to think something's wrong at the lab (but which no-one else takes as good enough evidence) and break in to investigate. If you have any ideas on changing the other bits to better fit this better, that's totally fine with me. I'm not a pro at this so any advice is appreciated!
Secondly if any, more experienced, writers have any ideas for scenes or methods of writing to make Maylee's personality come across better to the reader - any tips are also appreciated.
Thirdly, I worry that I don't have a way of making sure that Maylee is very obviously the main character despite her appearing first and
Fourthly, if someone could perhaps help me pick a good pokemon for Jake - I was going to go with Pikachu but since that's really common I thought I'd give Marill a try, but Marill's a little bit odd. I'm not too familiar myself with the newer generation pokemon so perhaps one of those is Pikachu-like (small and feisty-looking, and preferably not normal or psychic or ghost type).

Last edited by Lavaridge; July 3rd, 2012 at 05:20 PM.
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