You Will Be The Very Best
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July 9th, 2012 (1:06 PM).
Don't mess with the lights...
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Somewhere beyond the Veil
What Looker Has To Say, or The Start of Yet another Cheesy Journey
Looker stared at me.
But, Maria! I have no criminals for you to catch! I have a completely different task for you now! You see-”
Shut it. I do
want to help you.”
You are bored, no? This will help you not be bored!” enthused Looker.
That stopped me cold. How in the world could he know that? Had he been watching me? Since when?
Were you....STALKING ME?!?” I said.
On the internet!” said Looker gleefully.
I just stared at him.
That! THAT is why I want to talk to you! It has become apparent that the trainer known as Red has gone missing!” said Looker, pointing triumphantly at me.
I took one look at his face and burst out laughing.
And you have only just figured this out? We've known this since, like, two years ago at least. It's one of the most common-knowledge things among Trainers. Ever since that one girl named Lyra fought him and beat him, no one has seen him. People have looked all over the place. And let me guess, you want me to come with you up to the top of Mount Silver so we can find him? HE'S NOT GOING TO BE THERE.” I said.
Looker looked disappointed. “So...this is not new development?”
I facepalmed. “Seriously? Your boss told you that?”
...Yes...” he admitted.
Anyway, you're right, I
bored. Wherever you got that information, you happen to be right for once. So what do you want me to do about Red going missing?”
Help me to find him, of tracks! You see, the HQ needs me to have a partner. They claim that I cannot handle it by myself. I tell them this is nonsense, but they insist! So who do I think could help me? Of course it is Maria! So I come here and ask you, will you help me?”
Don't you mean 'of course'?” I said, his linguistic quirks starting to annoy me.
Yes, yes. Of course. And back to the point- will you help me?” continued Looker.
Why can't he be distracted and forget about this whole thing?
“What do I have to do? And why is it important that Red's 'gone missing', anyway?” I asked again. He hadn't seemed to understand my question before.
You see, that is classified information! HQ is saying I must not tell you until you decide to join me! Otherwise, they say, you may spread the secrets around, no? So you must decide!”
He's actually serious about this.
I gave up.“You know what, fine. Fine. So I'll help you. Now explain.”
Ah hah!” Looker shouted. He attempted to do some sort of dance, tripped on a broken Ultra Ball that had been lying in the vicinity of the dumpster, and fell on his face with a loud crash that made me cringe. What if Juniper heard us, and came outside? Would she jump to conclusions? The idea made me cringe some more.
Looker recovered from his epic fail and said, “Come on! We are going now!”
Where?” I said.
To the International Police Headquarters! We must hurry, as it is far away!”
Where is IPHQ, anyway?” I asked out of curiosity.
That,” said Looker, picking up something off the ground, “is classified information. Come here over.”
Over here, you mean?
I mentally corrected as I walked over to him. He pulled out a Poke Ball and threw it at the window. There was a flash, and a large bird flew out and banged its head on the gutter. It fell down with another large crash.
Juniper's definitely going to come out now.
Charlie, you come!” said Looker loudly.
Charl---oh. The bird.”
It is a Staraptor, for you who do not know. Now if it would just—COME!!!”
The bird stared at him. If it had hands, I'm pretty sure it would have been giving him the finger.
Grumbling, Looker walked over to Charlie, and I followed him. We grabbed onto the bird's tail.
The disobedient bird shot straight up into the sky, and with a WHOOOSH flew into a cloud. As was typical of flying with Pokemon, I felt as if I were going to fall off. But I knew I wouldn't. That's just not how it works. Before I knew it, we were in Mistralton City.
Is this where the headquarters is?” I asked.
NO!” he shouted. He pressed the button on the Poke Ball, and Charlie was withdrawn in a flash of light. Looker then dashed in the direction of Skyla's gym, which was modeled to look like a hangar.
He burst through the door and shouted “SKYLA!”
Looker's shout hung in the air. All of the people training in the gym stopped what they were doing and stared at him. Skyla, far in the back on her platform, stared too. She had been petting her Unfezant, which noticed that she had stopped and nipped her. Then she saw me.
Maria! Come up here! Bring your...friend, too.” she said slightly awkwardly.
At this, all the Trainers went back to their business. They knew my name. It was an etiquette thing- whenever you went to train at a Pokemon Gym, you looked at the names engraved on the statue by the door. These were the names of those who had won against the Gym Leader. Mine was there, and on every gym statue in the region. I had beat them all, and everyone knew it.
I walked up to the huge circus cannon in the center of the gym. I looked up at Skyla. She was tapping at a keypad on her chair, presumably readjusting the course that the cannon would shoot on. As I had when I challenged this Gym last year, I climbed in. Looker was staring at me nervously.
What, haven't you been to a Gym before? There are puzzles. Skyla's Gym has cannons. Just do what I do.”
The cannon then turned around and shot me up in the air at a sharp angle. With a loud thump, I landed on the high platform where Skyla sat. I waited for Looker to show up, but I didn't see anything.
Suddenly, I heard this.
Looker flew towards me, flailing his arms wildly and attracting a lot of attention. I hurriedly stepped out of the way, and he fell on his rear.
I sighed. “Looker, what kind of...oh whatever. Come on.”
Skyla got off her chair.
So, who is this guy with you?” she said. “Your-”
Don't even THINK about it,” I said.
What did you come here for, Maria? If you're coming just to visit, you know I'm going to have to follow the protocol and just say my official greeting thingy. I'm hoping you actually have something to say. You and whoever this guy is.”
Looker stepped forward.
Skyla! I am an agent of the International Police, and I am asking to use your airplane!”
I was about to slap him. How clueless WAS this guy?
Umm, my plane is for cargo only. Where are you trying to go? Has to be far, considering that you would have just used a flyer otherwise,” said Skyla in her cheerful voice.
We,” whispered Looker, “are going to the place that is known as—whisperwhisperwhisper”
I couldn't hear a word he was saying. I wondered if all detectives did weird things like this, or if it was just him.
Okay.” Skyla said.
I've got a delivery near there. I really don't tell people this, but I also have a passenger area on my plane. Normally I wouldn't let you guys do this, but Maria, you know what you're doing. You can handle whatever you're off to Sinnoh for. Oh wait, was that a secret?”
Looker was glaring at her with the hate that I had seen only in the criminals we had caught last year.
That...was the meant to be confidential,” he said with barely contained rage.
Eh...heh...um...I'll be out in a minute. Just take the back exit here” stammered Skyla. She pressed something on the keypad, and the chair whirred away from the wall, revealing a hidden exit. “It's a slide.”
Looker, you go first.” I shoved him down the chute and he slid down, screaming until I heard a thump, meaning he'd reached the bottom.
That's what he deserves for being so rude to Skyla.
Sorry about him,” I said, and jumped into the chute.
Cats and Dogs
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Zay, Zayphy, that one creepypasta girl
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