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Old July 29th, 2012 (11:42 AM).
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Haruka of Hoenn Haruka of Hoenn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
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A pretty action-packed chapter... exactly the kind I was waiting for since pretty much the beginning.

Quote:
At the controls, Mercer replied, “He told me everybody needed to die. He doesn’t want anybody alive who could testify against us later. ‘Not even a Weedle,’ were his exact words, I believe.”
Tobias is very thorough, isn't he? It was a nice save from Lisa and Leaf, by the way. Well-timed and creative. :P

Quote:
Both girls took off their hats and threw them at the aircraft. The brims of both hats sliced the skids on either side directly in the center in a shower of sparks, causing both men to lose their balance and fall to the pavement.
Haha, I liked this. Super hats of doom! I figured that such elaborate outfits only make it easier to hide a weapon or two... What else do these girls have up their sleeves?

Quote:
Red opened a bag of chips that were sitting on the coffee table. He had to chew them thoroughly and swallow them in a particular way because of his previous throat injury. Also on the coffee table were about ten small empty cups and Red’s Pikachu, passed out and reeking of alcohol.
Oh dear. xP

Quote:
The father and son both laughed loudly, with Red’s mechanical laughter sounding odd and menacing at the same time. “Yeah, it’s too bad we can’t do it ourselves, but I don’t want to get my hands dirty. Imagine, me, a legendary Pokémon Master, resorting to such tactics!
Ha-ha, Red. Very funny. I can't help but feel he's going to get what's coming to him very soon...

I like how you included Sabrina in the play of things. I don't see too much of her in stories, so it's interesting how you handle her. Of course, being a Psychic type master, she would be able to resist the brainwashing-waves being sent out. (Come to think of it, Leaf and company have to get rid of those, too. I wonder if they'll stumble upon a map of some sort and locate the source. Or will Sabrina be able to lead them to it? If she has the ability to sense the signals and block them, maybe she'll be able to rewire her senses into being able to locate their origin. Either way, I sense many more intense action-sequences in the future... and possibly a hideout-raid. Hehe.)

The personality you've given Sabrina is nice, too. She appears distant, but can still crack a joke.

Quote:
“Probably because I shop there all the time – at least twice a week. I like the store; it’s cleaner than the discount food stores in Saffron. Miss Northwood…”

“Please, call me Lisa.”

“Alright, Lisa, I believe that you also prefer shopping at Harris Teeter… In fact, I sense that your current home may not be far from their headquarters.”

“Guilty as charged! I’m only about a half hour or so away…”

Sabrina continued, “And to answer another question you’ve got for me, my car was handed down to me by my parents – much like your first car. And like you, my parents were very meticulous with maintaining their car. I’m not nearly as skilled with that, so I actually take it to my father whenever I need it serviced.”

Lisa laughed nervously. “Boy, when Leaf told me your powers were impressive, she wasn’t kidding!”
I liked this part. :P

Well, now things have heated up significantly, though we get a nice break from the tension later on in the chapter. It looks like the crew has a save haven, but for how long it will remain 'safe', no one knows... I'm getting the feeling that they'll have to be making another move sometime soon.

Can't wait for more!