View Single Post
July 30th, 2012, 10:21 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
OK, I promised you a full review,so here it is. Right, you open with him being banished, with absolutely no revaltion to the reader as to he his. All I got from the first bit was : The man was his father, the character had some sort of rank, I think he beat Groundon hich is basically impossible for smeone with one pokemon bringing us to my next point, Victini. Victini is probably one of the rarest legendary pokemon. It is also very, very weak against a pokemon as strong as Groundon. Groundon is fire type as is Victini, and Victini's moveset is fire, not very effective. Groundon is half dragon, able to do damage to Victini through that. His not resisting also seems weird. Next paragraph now.
He wakes up, mortally wounded, randomly being healed. I will refer to him as he or the character because assumadly The name the nurse gave him is not his real name. So this nurse talks o him, then runs away. And where did this bullet wound come from? There was a black thing sent at him randomly before... Then someone he should know randoly comes up to him, refreshing his memory. It is all rather confusing. VM me again when there is another chapter to review.
Proud owner of *Splash* the Magikarp and Gyarados fan club! Proud writer of Grey's Journey, The Hoenn Dragons and Pokemon Diamond Dead fan fictions. Life, don't talk to me aout life.
Also Known As: docowocool or me
View Public Profile
Send a private message to docowocool
Find all posts by docowocool
Find threads started by docowocool