The Hoenn Dragons
View Single Post
August 3rd, 2012 (10:20 PM). Edited August 3rd, 2012 by DarkIceForever.
Join Date: Dec 2011
Wow, ton of information going on here! There isn't room for me anywhere. Ah, I'm going to be brutally honest and I hate being rude, but It seems that your a bit, well, ignorant. You ask for reviews but your not making much improvement at all. (You have a mod and former mod helping you out. Don't be so ambiguous with the whole Genesect thing.)
But in short and I'm going out on a limb here but it seems your story is just plain bad. Now don't take it personally. I'm not here to insult, but honesty is my best policy. Your main character, Chaos, is a Mary-Sue. That means she's almighty and powerful. Which is unrealistic and unheard of. I mean she seems like a god here. That just serves to annoy readers.
The next thing that really 'grinds my gears' is that she's the champion of five regions! What? That's just fine for YOUR taste, but not mine, or anyone else for that matter. I don't want to read about an overly powerful character who beats everyone up and has access to some of the poke world's legendary and rare pokemon. You better have a very good explanation for Chaos even having a Genesect. A very good explanation makes doubters like me follow you. Like Psyanic said, Team Plasma argumented that ancient pokemon. So suffice to say is that there is only ONE Genesect. Which means Team Plasma should be questioning how one of thier top secret projects is being used by some random girl or why it's just out in the wild like some Bidoof. (See that's an a example of diving deeper into a event.)
That's like having some dude use Mewtwo for battles. It's extremely rare and very unheard of, never mind the legend classification. Other than that this story is just plain bad. I absolutely like some of the ideas, but they only work to entertain you and annoy others. If you don't want to sound absurd I suggest you begin doing your homework.
And now I'm just repeating what everyone else said...But we are all here to help and express a judgment. Sorry if it was harsh,nothing is ever personal with me, but I guess that's what you call tough love, right?
I will keep an eye on your work and look forward to your improvement.
View Public Profile
Find all posts by DarkIceForever
Find threads started by DarkIceForever