Hoenn RéBURST [M] [OOC + SU]
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August 28th, 2012, 07:06 AM
This Is Our Last Goodbye
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Juarez City, Mexico
Well, you have a nice idea for a character... but you need to develop him more in order to be accepted. You either need to change or expand the part when some stranger hit him saying that there are cat videos on the Internet... When will a person ever do that? At least say it was a rival/jerk sibling or something.
Your personality could use some development too, is he mentally stable? Does he get along with Pokemon? How does he act near strangers? Does he care about his family?
Also, your History is not quite believable, if someone fell into the oceans of Hoenn, the most probable thing is that the person would end in a cave or a bank of sand. You need to say HOW he survived, was he saved by someone? or a Pokemon maybe? And even if he somehow managed to reach Mosdeep, Tate & Liza are kids, how could a kid ever raise a teenager?
Also, this Roleplay takes place a couple of years after Team Aqua and Team Magma suddenly disappeared from Hoenn... well, not THAT many years, it's not even one, anyways, it is impossible that your Trainer had been a spy because... well, the Team doesn't accept any new members out of the blue unless they are strong, as it was shown in RSE, so, if it really was a spy, how was he accepted?
Sorry for being so naggy, by the way.
Until you can add that, you are
FC [B2]: 0992 1015 0443
VM/PM me whenever you feel like trading/kicking my butt on a battle
Last edited by Vato; August 28th, 2012 at
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V, The Guy Who Wanted To Have 'Burrito' As His Username
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