View Single Post
Old August 30th, 2012 (9:24 PM).
TornZero's Avatar
TornZero TornZero is offline
Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In your pantry, eatin' your delicious cake.
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,139
Send a message via Skype™ to TornZero
I'm assuming she passed over it. If you need a critique as soon as you can get it, the first thing from me would end up being that it's EXTREMELY short. Yes, you did it on your 3DS, but there should be no problem being able to hit the Edit button when you have access to a computer.

The personality is very bare; pretty much anything to expand on this would be beneficial.

Another requirement is a fused appearance alongside the normal one; while it still has to be recognizably human, all Pokémon Spirit users take on various Pokémon traits while fused. Pale green skin is a good start, in the case of a Bayleef spirit. A leaf on his head, anything.

The history will need expansion, too. How was he raised if he had to be raised incognito? Obviously he must have been rather sheltered considering almost every adult in Jubilife City either hates children with a burning passion or fears their ability to use Pokémon spirits with a warm sensation in their upper trouser region. Since he hadn't gotten his PokéSpirit until after his parents were executed, what stopped the adults from killing or enslaving Nick, too? He couldn't have just "managed to escape." That's what really makes the history a dealbreaker of sorts.
Also, Mount Coronet isn't in ruins (nor is the rest of Sinnoh for that matter, just devoid of non-human life); Mount Coronet is a mountain, so it's very much intact.

However, I do applaud your choice in adding Sleep Powder as a move, though may I suggest replacing Sweet Scent with something else? Even Reflect or Synthesis would benefit Nick more than Sweet Scent. (Actually, considering Meg doesn't like to hurt people, a defense-oriented moveset would fit MUCH better instead of having four damaging attacks.)

I will be moving my account to Songbird over the course of immediately. The signature will stay as is for posterity and reference.
Reply With Quote