"I suddenly feel like criticizing the narrative style, of which I'm obviously unaware... What the heck did I just said?" You say, ending confused.
You suddenly remember that your story is not exactly the one with most sense, thus meaning you can do as you wish without worrying too much about cross-universe references. You're obviously unaware of this, and decide to sing another song.
"My milkshake brings all the boys around, and they're like, its better than yours!" You sing with a very crappy rhythm. Once again you have no idea of how you know that song, not that you mind, though, it's pretty catchy!
"Slugma!" A voice exclaims, startling you. Upon turning around, you realize the little splatter had exit the Pokeball on its own. You suddenly begin thinking if this Pokemon is as derpy as it looks, and you realize the obvious answer upon carefully looking at it:
( ◕‿‿◕ )
You begin asking yourself what you did to receive a Pokemon like that... Maybe it was because of that time you pushed the school's janitor down the stairs... But that was only fifty percent intentional! Or so you like to think...
"Okay, let's set this straight," you tell Slugma, noticing the grass below it is slowly being incinerated, "You like me, I don't like you! You'll be Conchita from now on, Concho if you're a male, and not a single word about it!"
"How do I know if you're a male or a female, anyways? The only way I can think of is disgusting for me to try..."
You take your P★DA from your left pocket, and point it at Slugma.
"Tell me if it's a male or not, and I'll forget you owe me a cake!" You yell at the mischievous device.
"Welcome to the Aperture Science Gender Detailing Device. The Pocket Monster's gender is being processed, please wait a second..."
As a very catchy elevator-like tune plays, you beging whistling as you wait for your P★DA to tell you Slugma's gender.
"Request finished." The gadget says with its creepy robot voice, "The subject's gender is... Female"
"Guess you'll be Conchita after all..." You whisper.
You turn around, and you stare at the splatter... So derpy, why couldn't you just have a Pikachu like all the other cool guys? Was it too much to ask? You decide to forget those thoughts, as they'll take you nowhere...
"Let's go for a not so retarded Pokemon, shall we?"
And then, you decided to walk as if you were some sort of pimp, with very prolonged steps, as you wink at those girls who walk around. Unbeknownst to you, all they are thinking is these dumb kids in the best of cases.
After a while, you spot a small bird that looks quite gentle, as you open your mouth in excitement, you quickly throw a Pokeball at it. Yet the bird quickly breaks from the capsule, rendering a perfectly good Pokeball useless.
"Wait, was I supposed to weaken it first?" You say, as you were sure that catching a Pidgey required from little to no effort at all, "If that's the case... Slugma! Use..." you pause for a while, "What exactly can you do?" You ask as you stare at the blobby red being.
"The subject knows three techniques," the Jet Black gadget says, "Ember, Rock Throw and Electro Web. It is highly recommended to use the second, as the damage will be duper effective on the stray Monster."
"Err... Thanks, I guess. Use Rock Throw!" You yell as you point your finger at the bird.
Slugma's eyes glow as a small bunch of rocks arise from the ground, and in a matter of seconds, Pidgey is being demaged by the rain if mini-asteroid-like rocks.
"Gey!" The bird exclaims with pain, waging its wing all around in a seemingly pathetic attempt to quell its pain.
"This is going to be so easy!" You exclaim with excitement.
But it seems like you're wrong. As the wing waddle generates a small gust of wing, big enough to take Slugma away, making it spin all round while it is mid air. All the blob can do is make noises as if it was yelling 'I wanna get off!' as you stare, silently dying of laughter.
After the Slugma's wild air ride, something quite peculiar occurs. The plaster is now sitting... over the Pidgey. The Slugma is sighing in relief as the bird struggles to be set free, with no results, except for the increasing burns in its body.
Slugma walks, or rather, crawls away as the bird is slowly released from the infernal being. Pidgey begins hoping everywhere as it yells in pain while it burns.
"Well, if that's not weakening a Pokemon, I don't know what it is..." You say as you take a Pokeball from your bag.
"The previous is denominated 'Weakening a Pokemon'" The P★DA exclaims.
"Shut up, GLaDOS!" You say as you throw a Pokeball at the Pokemon, quickly sealing it inside of the capsule, as you wait for it to rock. Will it work? Maybe, maybe not... Only time will tell... Right now, all you can do is stare at the rocking Pokeball...