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October 1st, 2012, 08:35 PM
Don't Ask, Just Tell
Join Date: Oct 2009
Originally Posted by
How do you know? It would depend on how the parents implement the punishment, wouldn't it?
As I explained later on in my post, there needs to be clear preemptive time tables. If there is not, then the child may not apprehend the short-term absence of a toy or learn to obtain the toy back from the parent without facing consequence for bad behavior. I have worked with many children before. Once the toy or privilege is taken away, they will fuss, then eventually admit wrongdoing to get the object back, but that doesn't really teach the child that there are consequences for actions, and once those actions are taken, you must pay the penalty which is non-negotiable.
Not to sound like a drill-sergeant, but it is necessary to show children that pleading, after the fact, is not acceptable; when we do things that are "wrong" then we must assume responsibility and accept the punishment that we are liable for.
However, that is just one important side to discipline. The other is reward. When we fulfill the responsibilities of which are required and
, the child should be given additional freedoms and/or objects. This is a necessary counterpoint to show children. We are not always given extra privileges, they are, for the most part, earned. This also helps to deter bad behavior and invoke enthusiasm in the type of discipline.
The kids that I have worked with had issues with this type of discipline, at first. Once they learned that they were able to receive additional privileges, they became productive, competitive, and well-behaved. But, you cannot begin/continue to grant privileges without consistent and clear-cut boundaries that define disciplinary penalties.
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