Also, I understand that the thought of a loved one being in hell can certainly be scary and quite hurtful. In the case with your aunt, simply because she speaks of it so nonchalantly does not necessarily mean she didn't carry hurt inside when her husband passed away. What appears on the outside isn't necessarily a representation of what people feel on the inside. But forgive me if I am out of place in speaking on such a matter. I just understand what it is like to mask hurt from others.
Saying "God is merciful" and then agreeing with the premise that he would not give you a chance to repent after death, instead judging you on your life regardless of your repentance after death is a massive contradiction.
Droomph: please don't try to speculate on whether or not my family members are in hell, that's not really acceptable in this situation.