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Old November 4th, 2012, 02:57 AM
Vintage Arachnid
What? Retro Bug is evolving!
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Nature: Timid
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Vieve Gotle

That’s not Pussysprite… I take one look at the monstrous thing and take off in the opposite direction. I need to alchemize soon but first I need to defeat this creature. It definitely isn’t going to be as easy as the imps. I twirl my hair with my index finger, a bit of a habit I do when I’m nervous. The imp lord seems to have his backup, the regular imps, which I think are his scouts. I’ll take care of them first before I set my sights on the head honcho. I notice an imp stealing my juicer!

“HEY THAT’S MINE!” I quickly clasp my hands over my mouth. Shoot! All eyes are on me as my position behind a nearby wall is now public knowledge. I stand up and dust myself off, I should really change my dress this one is getting too dirty. I call forth my axe and lean on it as if I could pick it up and swing it at any time. To tell the truth I could do it once or twice but any time after that it became increasingly difficult. I’m getting use to the weight of it but it will take me some time before it becomes second nature. The three imps decide that they would rather continue stealing than fight me! I swing the axe up onto my shoulder as if I am a lumberjack. Before they could rush out the window the side of the axe smacks into their heads sending them flying into the wall. Feeling like a chef as I quickly cut them up into pieces and they turn into pieces of grist that I collect.

The imp lord doesn’t even notice that I cut up his underlings. That might be because he can’t even fit through the door, which means I either fight him inside here or go outside. I opt for the former I could at least cut off his hands but they aren’t staying still enough for me to have a chance. Rope! I need rope, I think Mom has some in the gardening shed… That’s where all the imps are. My axekind returns to its card so I don’t have to carry it as I run through the house and into my room and out into the backyard. Hmm, I should acquire a new weapon because lord knows I won’t be getting through here without a fight. The only thing that’s available is the chair that Ricardo used to hit Gavin. I rush forward but instantly the imps are upon me. They’re faster than I remember but so am I. I leap over the nearest imp and grab its claws and swing it back towards its pouncing brethren. The imps attack their friend out of confusion and this gives me enough time to break off a leg of the chair. Racing towards the shed is the easiest part but what I didn’t think about is that there’s only one exit. I slide the rope over my arm and rest it on my shoulder hopefully it’ll stay there. The only good thing is that the shed is full of weaponry. I pick up the nearest gardening tool to combat the imps that are piling on each other to get to me.

Charging forward with my…. Shovel I try to clear a way but there is just so many of them. Damn Ricardo! I don’t have time to play to whack-a-mole with these imps and their gnawing teeth. I. HATE. IMPS. I slam down the shovel down repeatedly trying to make my way outside. Screw this! I jump onto the heads of imps and walk out the shed while on their heads. Somehow I can’t believe that actually works with these creatures but seeing how they aren’t the smartest things alive. I ran back through the house and catch my breath outside the kitchen watching Pussysprite have a cat fight with another imp. I wave to him as I secure the rope in my hand. As of right now the giant imp lord has its leg and hand through my front door. It’s long claws made several large puncture holes into my walls. My mom is going to kill me if she ever sees these. The imp lord unconsciously has been doing a pattern and I pick up on it quickly. It slams into the left side with its foot two times and the right with his hand once.

“Here goes nothing,” I mutter as I wait for the pattern to restart before I rush in like a maniac. I made a mistake in measuring his limbs because they are a lot bigger. I make a circle and then make a knot around the foot but the tricky part is getting it around its hand. Yeah, the hand with the sharp claws… I retrieve my axe for one last act of duty. I swing the axe into each of the claws on the hand causing the claws to curve in toward the hand itself. The fact that I am able to do that surprises even me because that is six times I have used the axe and I’m only slightly tired. Time to finish this part before the final battle. A noise makes the whole house tremble it sounds like a dying whale mixed with dubstep it must be the imp lord crying. Sorry dude but I have to slay the beast that lay waste to my home. The rope is pulling me towards the door, the imp lord is pulling out of the house! I quickly tie the other end to its hand hoping that it won’t come undone. The two limbs that are stuck together make it impossible for the beast to pull them out. Mother of god I have to use my axe two more times. I’m going to take a nap after this and whoever wakes me up faces my scorn or something like that. “Do you need help getting out of my house? Seems like you got your foot caught in the door. Let me help you with that!” My shouting probably doesn’t even reach the imp lord’s ears before I slice through his flesh dismembering his leg. The sound of it in pain is almost unbearable, “Need a hand? I can get you one!” When did I become this funny? My arms give up after I manage to cut through off his hand. Walking out the door I see the imp lord trying to balance itself as it’s missing its foot and hand.

“Good bye!” I’m launching myself right into the center of the monster causing it to tip over. A large rock drops down from the sky smashing the imp lord into pieces of grist. What the…? I look up and notice stairs leading into the sky, Ricardo!? The rock must have been unintentional because lord knows Ricardo would never help me out.
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