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Old November 16th, 2012 (12:07 PM).
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Esper Esper is offline
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Quote originally posted by Cassino:
I don't understand the concept of 'coming out'. I'll tell people what I am if they ask but I don't seek to declare things to persons whom it is of no likely consequence, and it just seems moronic to come out to people that probably won't be accepting anyway, so why bother?
Coming out is usually done with people who've known you since before you were open about, or knew about, your sexual orientation. If you're, let's say, gay and open about it you wouldn't come out to your coworkers at your new job because it would be part of what they learn about you when they first meet you or something they'd pick up on soon after. It's a way of preparing people who already know you, giving them a chance to adjust to the "new" you in a way that is easier than coming home one day with a boyfriend.

But you're right in the sense that it isn't something that should matter to people it isn't going to affect. Unfortunately coming out usually happens around that tumultuous time of puberty when lots of people want to shout to the world who they are because they're forming their identity then.

Though I think it's just a matter of time before we stop coming out because people will (hopefully) expect the possibility and won't assume everyone is heteronormative, heterosexual, etc.


Quote originally posted by LightningAlex:
So guys, I have my own coming out story. I'm really sorry for changing the subject, but I kinda have to tell somebody...
A couple of days ago, my friends and I were drinking, and well, one of my best friends and I usually stay awake until the morning, while the others go to sleep. And so, when only the two of us stayed awake, he questioned why I never had a relationship, and why I hate talking about love, relationships, etc. I tried avoiding the answer as much as possible, but in the end, I told him. I thought that at least he wouldn't make a big scene out of it, since he's the only one out of my friends (Or all the people I know) who didn't show any signs of homophobia. But it didn't go so well. His replies were mostly something like "It's just a phase", "You're just confused" or, my personal favorite, "You need to change that. Maybe see a psychologist". After about 1 minute of awkward silence, he went to sleep. Since all the other go to sleep early, there's usually only one bed remaining, and we've slept on it together many times. This time, I found him sleeping on the floor.

Sure enough, he deleted me on Facebook, and never contacted me again. I've lost a friend. Guessed I've learned my lesson

Being gay is destroying my life. Every day I'm surrounded by homophobic people, and now this happened. I'm starting to feel depressed...

Again, I'm really sorry for posting stuff like this, but I just had to tell someone, and PC is currently the only place where I feel accepted.

(I posted this once already a couple of days ago, but soon deleted it since I didn't want to change the topic, but I think it's okay now...)
That is a real shame. Sometimes people have too many preconceptions, too many prejudices, to accept you. And sometimes people are just not mature enough and with time they'll come to see it's okay. It's always a struggle when you're around people who aren't accepting. You have to have a lot of strength to either keep it to yourself or to be out and have to suffer the comments or social stigma of being out. I do hope you find some people who are okay with you and like you for who you are.
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