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Old November 16th, 2012 (4:19 PM).
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Astinus Astinus is offline
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Quote originally posted by Heracles4:
Proper dialogue goes like this:

"Hey!", Bob yelled to Sally

Actually, it doesn't. You don't need the comma in that sentence after the quotation marks. You use commas only when you would use a full stop and if the dialogue is attached to a speech tag (said, told, whispered).

Quote originally posted by Volcanix769:
And I'm going to be kind of angry on this, so don't get sad about what I'm saying now.

I'm not going to say anymore, because I'm really angry with this story and it annoyed me so much. Overall, there's a LOT of spelling and punctuation errors spread across together. You are not trying hard in this story with how you are not presumably proofreading this story, since it has a lot of problems.

Try not to post when angry, especially when reviewing. Your tone might make the author think that you're insulting them, and they won't be likely to listen to your review even though it contains good advice.