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November 18th, 2012 (5:17 PM).
... I don't even know how to describe how I feel right now...
My heart's pounding in my ears, even though I'm not moving at all. I can't breathe without a painful hitch.. and I'm finding it so hard to speak...
I gave up so much. The only three things in the world that kept me happy, and dare I say, sane.. are all
. It feels like you and I can't talk anymore without it being awkward... even though nothing between us has really changed.. I can still feel it. That reluctance... that hesitation you give me... the same hesitation I give back in accordance...
you... why did it have to end up like this...? I always thought love was strong enough to power through anything... was I wrong...? We used to be so strong by each other's side... now it feels like there's nothing there but emptiness. Even if we still act like a couple in certain aspects, it feels like everything has changed. My world was turned upside down in an instant... I have no idea how to feel or what to do...
I miss you... even though you're only a single IM away, I miss you... And I miss my only other source of happiness that I ended up deleting... why did I do that... what is even going on anymore...?
... I'm so.. lost... in a nightmare I can't seem to find any way out of...