View Single Post
  #5    
Old November 23rd, 2012 (02:05 PM).
psyanic's Avatar
psyanic psyanic is offline
There's Something About Lamps
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The USA
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Nature: Bold
Posts: 1,283
Quote originally posted by chaoticlapras:
...what word do you suggest?
Maybe an interjectory phrase like "no wait, that's an understatement" would work. If you just want to change the word, then it would be like "OK, that's an understatement..." Also, I think either commas or dashes around the phrase would read a bit better. Ellipses give the impression that the narrator is trailing off, but the words themselves interject in the middle of the sentence, so it would be:
Quote originally posted by correction with dashes:
Using some of my charcoal, I cooked some pork, and munched silently away throughout the night, slightly - OK, that's an understatement - trembling because of the freaky noises outside...
__________________
Reply With Quote