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Old December 2nd, 2012, 08:27 PM
Major Ziggs's Avatar
Major Ziggs
This'll be a blast!
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: England
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Nature: Quirky
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilizuki View Post
Will it be okay to PM you about developing the hooks in her personal arc, once things get rolling?
Of course, I'd love to hear about them :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by CourageHound View Post
Not really finnished. Was waiting for your opinion since i havnt done a role play before, so I kinda fished around her there, and everywhere. Kinda glad i'ma be changin some stuff tho~

Spoiler:
General
Name: Tobi Lomborte
Age: 18
Appearance: Tall about 6ft 5in
Dark-skinned with short black hair. Usually wearing long cargo jeans, (any)solid-dark top with this Icon in the the middle:
Spoiler:

Hands fitted with black leather, fngerless gloves, and grey jacket.
Personality: Usually reserved and quiet you wont often see him in any big conversation. Passing by, you might seem to find him serious. However Tobi is prone to variable mood shifts, depending on how hes feeling. You might see him happy, laughing and smiling one moment and see his trademark serious face some time later.
However despite that he is very intelligent, adores nature, helpful to everyone around, and tries to do his best to be friendly. However he doesnt like discussing his abilities of the Aracana outside the family much. He doesn't tolerate bullies or people with evil intentions.


Arcana
Arcana Card: #19 The Sun
Secondary Effects: Upon attaining his power and ability to influence a person's good nature grants him a source of vibrant energy. This energy could be used in various ways such as speed, strength endurance, or even to conjure light, heat, or pressure from his palms if given enough energy. He uses his acquired energy in varies ways such as reinforcing his armor and weapons or giving him the edge over ill minded foes in battle by momentarily distracting them with gracious thoughts. He can spare a fraction of the energy he attains to another if he wishes.


Ability to control powers: Being able to control his powers was very tricky for Tobi being as young as he is. He usually succeeds to wield his powers in a stable environment to being able to concentrate and is usually unsuccessful at performing in hectic environments. However he discovered that his own power is the very answer to that. By reaching into people and realizing the good in the, he uses that serene energy to put himself at ease, even in the thick of battle. However that also means he can tell if someone was truly pure evil.

Section of the house & postion: The Sword- The faction of which guards the harbor and ports
History on the island: Being an orphan housed under a village orphanage he had a rough childhood. Often mistreated and taken advantage by other children of despite his many talents Tobi grew up in his younger years being quite shy around others albeit seeking and longing to aquaint himself with another. This led to his habit of isolation and had him focus on this such as art, literacy and fencing. Such talents and distinguishing features he displayed only ostracized him further from the children and other commoners around him, claiming him "different".

As he grew into his early teens he accidentally ran into Falicita while on a daily errand for his foster parents. Spilling the contents of her bag as they bump into each other Tobi insists on assisting on aiding her and bringing her items back to the manor. Upon arrival Nova and the other residence of the manor were interested in such an intriguing boy who would go out of his way to help a strange lady. Over time through secretive test and examinations of character and aptitude through requests and even inviting Tobi to certain family affairs he was given an invitation into the manor. At first flabbergasted, he whole heatedly accepts his invitation. Tobi was then sent into the sword section of the manor while retaining the name of his foster parents.

Although being somewhat distant from the others in the family his powers grant him incite on the true feelings and character of all he meets.


I hope thats better.
It's better, but still a couple of changes need to be made if that's okay! The appearance section is lacking quite a bit of detail; it'd be great if you could add to it a bit - talk about things like his build, his facial expressions, his eyes, his arcana symbol, that kind of thing, also if possible add a little more detail to the things you've already described (for example what style of short black hair does he have? Messy? Straight? Parted? etc). And the other thing that needs a little more added to it is the character's history - you haven't said anything about his time on the island since gaining his powers or since joining the house other than that he's distant to the rest of the family (which also isn't explained); that's an important part of their history so if possible an extra paragraph about that would be great. Also you didn't say why he joined the Sword division of the family, so a sentence explaining that would be useful too. Otherwise the character is looking great and I especially love what you've chosen for his secondary powers, it fits incredibly well with The Sun card and I can see a lot of interesting stories arising from it. Also the way he was invited to the family is rather intriguing, he's seeming like a very quirky character haha. As a small note, most people tend to edit their original sign-up post rather than posting a new one each time so you might want to just edit the one you've posted most recently when making these changes and post asking to check it once you're finished with it :) Can't wait to read more about Tobi!

Also in case anyone's interested, I'll submit the IC thread once we have at least 8 characters confirmed as that will be enough to start the story. :)
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