Dash, a childhood in Johto; [LP/Challenge In writing form(May get img heavy)]
View Single Post
December 5th, 2012 (12:57 AM).
Well this is interesting. I'm always ready to review Let's Plays, and it's interesting to see one start of more like a fanfiction than an Let's Play. Depending on how this goes, though, it might get moved over to the
subforum. Right now, though, it can stay since it's more like a fanfic.
First, some small grammar things:
my last 16 years of existence studying Pokemon
feels the same way I do about my dream
That should be lower-cased, since you're not using it in place of her name.
There's not really much to say about the rest of this. Your character at least gives a reason for writing a journal. And his characterization is starting to come through in the writing. Since he sees Mr. Pokemon as a "fruit" and forgetting exactly what Elm asked him to do, he has a real attitude to him! Looking forward to seeing how he reacts to the rest of Johto and its interesting characters.
And yay, you're doing a purple mono-color challenge. I hope that means I can see one of my favorite Pokemon, Nidoking!
Joined May 2006
View Public Profile
Send a private message to Astinus
Find all posts by Astinus
Find threads started by Astinus
Ignore Posts by Astinus