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Old December 6th, 2012 (06:34 PM). Edited December 6th, 2012 by -.
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Call me Dash.
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Oregon
Gender: Male
Nature: Modest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AzaleaLightning View Post
Filler isn't good! Minimalism is key to writing good stories, minimalist yet efficient. You don't want too much prose but you don't want things left plain and bland. A good balance usually yields good story-telling!

It's difficult to help without any examples, maybe provide a paragraph or two of your writing so we can better assist you? c:
Sure! O: Here's one I don't particularly care for:
Quote:
Breakfast with mom was great this morning, she made pancakes, eggs, and sausage. She also re-discussed with me all those parent-things. More obvious questions, yay. After that I helped clean up, seeing as I'd be gone for quite some time. I had cleaned my room, so no longer is it a disaster-piece. She might use it as a guestroom, who knows. Later, after helping with various house chores, I finished packing my backpack with things I'd need. This consisted of simple stuff: extra clothes, a pocket utility knife, a few eating utensils, some trail rations and a basic survival kit(matches, a compass, etc...). Saying goodbye was quick, and I was eager to proceed with Professor Elm's chores. [OOC: Also a bit of sarcasm there. You'll see hints of it here and there, especially when talking about other people.]
The first sentence to me seems pretty bland, the list seems extensive, and the sentences all together almost feel choppy as if they're too short. Also it seems every sentence is describing an action in a plain way, nothing really interesting about them. Oh, and ignore the sarcasm at the end xD It's in reference to a previous paragraph when he was about to go to bed and said:
Quote:
Enough of that stuff, I better get some good rest because in the morning I have a real task ahead- Obtaining and delivering a package or egg or whatever he said. [OOC: Can't you TASTE the sarcasm?]
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