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Old December 9th, 2012 (8:45 AM).
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Esper Esper is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: California
Posts: 9,255
I think it's understandable to have mixed feelings, or just feel indifferent when someone who was cruel to you dies. Our feelings aren't controlled by rational thought and we can't step outside of ourselves completely.

People are going to mourn the dead and say nice things about them because that helps them mourn. But you should be able to be honest and say what's on your mind. After all, you have to mourn in some respect, too. Maybe mourn isn't the right word. You have to address this, perhaps not in public, but you do need to talk to someone about it where you can speak honestly of your feelings.

So if you can talk to someone about it honestly, with someone who isn't mourning for the bully and won't be offended by what you say, you'll have a chance to get things out in the open. After that you might have an easier time when you go back into the public space where people are only saying nice things about them. And if you do feel like you have to address the fact that they weren't nice to you in life then at least you'll have had some time to do that diplomatically.

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