View Single Post
Old December 21st, 2012 (10:37 PM).
bobandbill's Avatar
bobandbill bobandbill is offline
AdministratorGTPokéCommunity Daily Staff
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
Posts: 11,769
Again, enjoyed this very much and awesome you got to writing this even if it’s three years in the making.
Better late than never I suppose! XD

It was certainly entertaining, no doubt about that. Full of amusing parts and the concept itself was pretty good too. I did see that Giovanni-as-Santa was coming but it was delievered well. Santa sure was a menacingly cheerful (or a cheerfully menancing?) character on top of that.

I liked the interactions between the Rocket grunts the most, I think. They were the parts I found funniest, although the ending was a good way to conclude the tale. Santa as well had his moments in the dark humour he had. Ho ho ho. I felt that the beginning took a little bit to get going in terms of the humour; maybe just a bit slow or focus on the setup of the story first for my liking given how it then continued (not that the beginning wasn't well written, mind; just a bit too much one way). I also thought that TR's plan of destorying the world was a bit at odds with their usual controlling-the-world aims, but that's more minor given the story itself.
It was the finally the twenty fourth of December.
Drop the first 'the'.
[QUOTE]What he was instructed to do reviled him to the very core of his being[QUOTE]I'm not too sure 'reviled' him sounds right even if it has the right meaning as-is... maybe it's just not a term often used here though. Can't say I have seen it used in this way much.
And so, Christmastime was thereafter rather different in Viridian City.
I think 'Christmas time' as two words is better.

All in all another fine read. =)
Reply With Quote