Thread: [Pokémon] Indigo's Story (G)
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Old December 22nd, 2012, 08:37 AM
Kitkat315's Avatar
Kitkat315
Crazy Cat Lady
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Gender: Female
Nature: Naive
Fixed a heap of errors, and explained more about why Juniper is here, other than the fact that I find Elm annoying and like her a lot more.
Quote:
When I saw your response to Volcanix's review, I knew I had to review myself. Because your attitude is amazing and should be rewarded in some way! No really. It's great to see someone be this welcoming to getting advice.

Personally, I'd say to get rid of the prologue. It's really not needed, since it doesn't add anything to the story. Pretty much as soon as Indigo gets to the lab, we find out that Team Rocket is there to steal Pokemon. Why they're doing that since they've disbanded, we don't know, but I'd guess that's one reason why Indigo goes on her journey. Still, there's some grammar errors I can point out.
The reason I was so welcoming of the criticism is because of why I posted this. I wanted an opinion other than Mom's! How many errors and plot holes I have left means I have more fun to have writing this story! One last thing, is that that helps me have that attitude about the flops, is an image that found floating around on a funny pictures app. I don't believe that I can attach it, I don't have it on this device. But here is what it said:
FAIL
First
Attempt
In
Learning

Thanks for all the advice!

EDIT: After some pondering, I think the other reason this needs so much work is that it's just made the trasnition from daydream to Fanfic, and the stuff I can see in my head isn't just going to magicly appear for everyone else. Need to work on that one. :s Not sure how yet.

Last edited by Kitkat315; December 22nd, 2012 at 11:45 AM.
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