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Old December 27th, 2012 (05:41 AM).
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Freak A Freak A is offline
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there's not much to critique here because i understand this is only a show of free style. obviously you have written this with more heart and less sense of poetry (sorry if that sounds harsh)

Though if i was to judge the flow i would say its a little between kind of good but kind of bad as well. i think this poem deserves more then just 4 lines i feel it could have been even more exaggerated but the fact that you've put some feeling into it (and if u haven't you've at least made me think you have) and for that i can easily say that you do have a poetic touch.
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