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Old January 21st, 2013 (08:39 AM). Edited February 7th, 2013 by AnonygooseD.
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AnonygooseD
Lametrainer
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Africa
Nature: Jolly
Admins, feel free to move or remove... :D

So I was playing Pokemon Fire Red couple o' days ago and then suddenly noticed stuff in the game and thought about mocking them here in a sarcastic way for the sake of laughs and stuff.

1. Prefixes
Here's a list of trainer prefixes with comments:
Spoiler:
Super Nerd? No, Fanboy Noob.
Hex Maniac? No, Unburnt Witch.
Beauty? You may have a chance to win a Pokemon contest.
Cooltrainer? No, $WAG loser.
Firebreather? No, Stinkybreath (it must be or else it won't burn).
Channeler? No, Crazy Nun from B.C.
Gambler? Where are your Pokemon from the Game Corner?
Youngster? A better name for post-toddler.
Young Couple? Her pregnancy isn't showing at all!

Well actually I don't want these prefixes to change because they show how battlers are ridiculously rookie, but I think regular humans/trainers should exist more often.
This also reminds me of a weird theory I read stating that Pokemon regions are always at war, hence you don't battle normal mid-aged men that much since nearly all of them went to the army, maybe besides scientists and hikers who seem to have "escaped" by going to isolated places... LOL xD


2. Enraged Pokemon on the Loose
So we can battle invisible Pokemon in the grass, but can't battle visible ones? Legendaries aside, visible Pokemon in the overworld are just friendly creatures who belong to NPCs, on the other hand the invisible ones are just enraged animals with rabies who just want to attack everybody and everything & sometimes you cannot escape them, but it's way stupid to battle a xx feet tall Onix that you can't see in real life.
I would personally like to battle Bill when he's a Pokemon, and maybe catch him too (Fwahahahaha!).


3. Machop with no Strength
I don't need an HM slave, I'll just distribute the HMs on my team!
Later... "HM moves cannot be forgotten now." What the ****?!
And that was my reaction when I played my first Pokemon game.
HM moves are just plain ridiculous, I'm either wasting a move slot of a useful Pokemon, or wasting a place in my team for an HM slave.
Also, Magikarp can't swim and Pidgey can't fly until I TEACH them to? I think they should be able to do what they do best without an HM, but with an appropriate Gym Badge maybe? Or instead we could just use regular-life tools like in some hacks here (e.g. machete in ToxicPurple).


4. You beat the Elite4! Now go home.
This one was discussed already on the X&Y section but I wanted to mention it again.
After you beat the E4 you expect to be one of them or at least get a golden badge that you can flash to rookie trainers, but no, you're stuck with your Ma & prof. Oak while your rival Gary lives in the plateau for eternity.
In addition to that, not a single soul in the region knows or cares about the 10 year old hero who have beaten the E4, and you still have to deal with tasks that prof. Oak can't do by himself even though he has enough Pokemon to go very far.
-What is Oak doing alone in the lab with all these Pokemon anyway?-


5. Where Dem Cops At?
Ever heard the idiom "If you want something done right then do it yourself"? Well the games pretty much follow that idiom to full extents; you have to stop Team Rocket from cutting Slowpoke tails, taking over the Radio Tower and stealing little kids' money, all by yourself AND battle your rival after every mission just before you visit the Poke-Center.
And the cops are... stopping champion wannabes from travelling between towns? But it's okay kiddies, you can always bribe a cop with a fizzy drink... or a donut if they're fat.


I might make a sequel to this topic if many people like it and suggest me ideas (I'll credit you)...
Thoughts?

Also a funny pic:
Spoiler:
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