l i t a n y :: an anthem of worlds. [PG-16, OOC / Sign-Up Thread]
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January 26th, 2013, 03:12 PM
- yuki kaai -
Join Date: Apr 2009
servants - missing an apostrophe (possessive?)
all members of the noble family - by?
inexperience - inexperienced?
refine - refined?
Also a general nitpick (though much less important) - gramarie / gramarist and theurgy are not proper nouns. So there you go.
Anyway, those aside - the raid ... probably wouldn't actually happen. Gramarists are pretty important to society in general. Try monstrous encounter (maybe during a hike in the mountains or something) instead. Otherwise history seems fine. Some small problems with the flow but those are unavoidable sometimes so I am not going to raise any concerns - though do clarify; "preparing for his role as Duke" means he's inheriting the title of peerage, right?
Also Known As: Noctiluca
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