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Old January 28th, 2013 (9:08 AM). Edited January 28th, 2013 by Gyardosamped.
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Florida
Age: 22
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Originally Posted by TornZero View Post
Hello! Hallo! Kon'nichiwa! Saluton! Bonjour! Ciao! Aloha! Hola! Annyeonghaseyo! Salve! Hej!

Welcome! (I know, that was late, but hopefully my various greetings made up for that.)

First of all, my mother is actually very confrontational — total contrast to my dad, who tries to ask if anything's wrong whenever it seems to be a convenient time for you. I have to plan around both of them with my own situation, and that means making it impossible for my mother to "fight back" against what I am/want to be, as it were. She went straight to God because my little brother's gay — she has no other reason to dislike it, even if it's misguided — so I have to disarm her before she can do it with me about trans* issues and overall the issue of my own identity; that involves making her annoyed enough to check my laptop and see the collection of pages set up specifically for "debunking" her religious claims and telling her the gist of my problems at the same time. (Honestly, I'm really hoping she'll think at least once, "I really should have expected this.")

Rant over, for now. Maybe you guys/girls/{non-binary noun here}s have some suggestions to help me speed her "discovery" along? ;

Secondly, you don't have to worry about stopping, at least as long as you stay on a general topic of things. Talk about him as you please. Someone might get jealous, though.
Hi there! It's never too late for a hello, so nice to meet you. :D

Thanks for the advice. I feel so bad that you have had to go through so many obstacles to disclose your orientation because loved ones in your life aren't as accepting. I honestly can't blame parents for being so ignorant and resistant when it comes to the subject, because they most likely dreamed a life for their son or daughter that will obviously never plan out. It's tough for both parent(s) and child. I can't help you when it comes to the whole religion thing because my parents and myself aren't very religious, but I read you wanted her to "discover" your beliefs and who you are are rather than you confronting her about it. Trying to sway someone from their outrageous religious beliefs, though, like Raichu said, is going to be difficult and might make her more upset. I suggest to get into a discussion with her about her beliefs (and not mention anything about sexuality, etc. Also, if she's one of these die hard religious people who talks about religion all the time, let her start talking about it first so she's not suspicious if you just randomly bring it up), and try and refute her arguments with stuff you've learned, read over, or personally believe in. See where that goes.. I suggest trying that out first before going all out with your plan. Good luck. :3

& Liam can be shared, I guess, if someone is jealous of his perfection. Lol. I sound like such a fan boy.. well technically I am.

Originally Posted by Aeon View Post
I'm sort of in the same boat... except my mom is the type of parent who believes in loving your child unconditionally. I still can't find myself to tell my mom I'm trans* either way. I might be coming out as androgynous soon enough though... hopefully. Best of luck to you though, TornZero.
My mom's the same way. I think that whether I tell her I'm gay or not, she'll love me the same no matter what. I think my dad is the same, too, although he's never really even confronted me about who I'm attracted to, which is what I love about him. My mom is the type to ask a lot of questions which make me feel super awkward, but my dad is quiet and never gets involved with my sexuality. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post

Hahahahahahahaha! That's the best thing I've read all day. Dude, this is the LGBT club - you ain't gonna spark no controversy saying things like that here

Generally speaking, the best advice I can give for coming out (which I only did a few months back myself) is to make sure you actually do it yourself. Make sure you go to them rather than have them find out somehow. It feels so much better when you have the power and you decide how it comes out. If they find out and are forced to come to you, as happened with me, it will make you feel really invaded and gross, like somebody knows something they shouldn't. Then you don't get to really have that freeing feeling that coming out is meant to give you, and that sucks lol.

When they find out without you telling them, there's an added layer of issues they have to work through as well. "Why didn't you tell us?" "Were you ever planning to tell us?"

I'm cringing with the memories of my coming out now haha.

Oh Joey I've missed you :3

I would never want to be anything other than gay either. I love it and wouldn't want myself or my life any other way. But I feel that way as I am, which is a gay man. If I were straight or bisexual, I know I wouldn't feel that way, which is why I don't think I'd have a lot of trouble making the transition or clinging to the label.

And good luck to you both, Aeon and TornZero. I think it's a good idea to have something prepared to debunk the religious claims, because at least then if she runs directly to God you'll have something to say... but at the same time religion gets a stranglehold on people so anything you say to refute it might just piss her off. I'd play it by ear, honestly, go off her reactions to what you're saying and if the religious debate isn't going well leave it alone and move to a more emotional line of attack.
Hahaha, well seeing as there are a ton of different opinions out there on the subject, I didn't want to start anything unnecessary or come down as provocative, but yeah, I know that's a huge topic for the LGBT community.

& thanks for the advice! I also always thought it was better to come out to my parents on my own, rather than having them find out themselves. That'd just make it soooo much more awkward and also add unnecessary tension to the situation. As it is, I'm not the type to leave any hard evidence of my sexuality hanging around anywhere in my room or computer, and my parents aren't the type to look around my stuff, so I don't think they'd find out that way anyways. Plus, I already think my mom suspects I'm gay because she's confronted me about two times in the past asking if I am, and I lied both times because I hate "on the spot" things like that, and I just wasn't ready to reveal it right then and there.

On the "I wouldn't want to be anything but" topic, I have to agree that I appreciate who I am and what I am. I've grown up like this all my life, and I wouldn't change for the world. This comes back to the "you're born that way" topic, but seriously, I is super happy being gay. I'm glad you feel the same way, Mr. Raichu. Btw, do you have a nickname! I don't what to make it awkward, haha. :p You can call me Ant.