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  #18    
Old February 6th, 2013 (09:21 AM).
bigtukker bigtukker is offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
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Posts: 70
Hi there,

Haven't read the story fully yet and neither am I a PokéShipper, but this story is pretty good. You captured Misty's personality perfectly. Ash is a little OOC, but he is in every ship story around him, because he is as dense as a brick.

Just a couple of little things.

It's Trip, not Tripp

You don't have to mention you POV's if you stay in 3rd perspective. Just a paragraph change usually is enough.

I like your battles and Misty's unfamiliarity with Unova. Keep up the good work.
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