A Smell of Petroleum Pervades Throughout
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February 13th, 2013 (2:09 AM).
Gone. May or may not return.
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: The Misspelled Cyrpt
> Check pants. Gotta know the gender.
> Othodox should examine the wall posters, or else they be lost to the all-encompassing top-down perspective.
The best way of dealing with a potential threat is, as you well know, giving yourself a thorough anatomical inspection, and you spit in the face of the ominous silence by stripping down and getting down to business. Only then do you remember that you
you were a guy already, and this was a complete and utter waste of time. I mean, hell, it's not like you switch between male and female on a regular basis.
You shake your head at your own stupidity and go over to the east wall, where your posters loom before you in all their magnificence.
magnificence, now, given that you've been away a while and they've been in direct sunlight all this time, but they're still pretty glorious. There's one for each one of the Elite Four (two for Koga. Ninjas are cool and this is an unalterable fact) and one of Champion Lance as well; there's also one of Red Pastelle, the strange, reticent guy who wanders around desolate parts of the wilderness challenging people to insanely difficult battles with Pokémon upwards of level 80. You've heard it rumoured he only returns to civilisation to sign new merchandising deals.
> Once Othodox is done examining those posters, he should go downstairs and determine where MOM, and subsequently his money, is.
> Always have to check to see if there's anything good on the computer! Then head down the stairs and see if anyone is around to talk to.
Man, you think, those are some pretty sweet posters. You could spend all day staring at them, but there's still the matter of the ominous silence to deal with. After all, normally Mom would've called something inane up to you by now – and you don't even really know why you're back home in the first place. Maybe she could shed some light on the situation.
First, though, the PC. No modern kid's ready to face the world without a little digital courage, and who knows? There might be something good in there; when you started your Pokémon journey, it had a Potion in it for no readily explicable reason.
You boot it up and scroll through the options. Huh. Looks like you have mail. Written on exceptionally disturbing notepaper, but mail nonetheless.
Othodox received one Bloodstained Mail! Othodox put the Bloodstained Mail in the Mail Pocket.
You elect not to dwell too much on the bloodier qualities of the Mail.
As for items, it seems you have two Potions, a Lava Cookie and a Poké Ball. What on earth were you planning to do with that lot? You're an experienced Trainer. You progressed beyond such weak items long ago. Nevertheless, you take them. They might be puny, but you're not going to let them go to waste.
Othodox received some Potions! Othodox put the Potions in the Medicine Pocket.
Othodox received one Lava Cookie! Othodox put the Lava Cookie in the Medicine Pocket.
Othodox received one Poké Ball! Othodox put the Poké Ball in the Balls Pocket.
In putting them in your Bag, you also notice you have a few other items in there.
Bloodstained Mail x1
Lava Cookie x1
Poké Ball x2
Hyper Potion x2
Miracle Seed x1
Shiny Stone x1
Man, that Shiny Stone is shiny. It's difficult to look directly at it, but it seems so desirable. You stare appreciatively at it for a while, neither remembering nor caring where it came from, and then decide that you've done enough dithering. It's time to go downstairs and question Mom.
Oddly enough, the ground-floor room of your house is as deserted as the rest of New Bark appears to be. This is extremely strange, as there's literally nowhere else in the house for your mother to be, given that there are only two rooms, and you've never known her leave the building in all your years. Briefly, you ponder where it is she sleeps, but, as ever, you thrust the thought from your head. Now is not the time to examine the strange logic of the world you live in.
To the south is the exit to New Bark Town's main street.
There is a television here.
There is a refrigerator here.
There is a sink here.
There is table with four chairs here.
The Thinking Man's Guide to Destroying the World
The Rocket Case
The Rocket Revival
Neither Here Nor There
Coriolanus Rowland's Guide to Pokémon Husbandry
Robin Goodfellow's Christmas Carol
Stranger Than Fiction
My Trip to the End of Time, by Pearl Gideon
A Smell of Petroleum Pervades Throughout
For information about A Grand Day Out, a bizarre short story in video game form, click
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