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Old March 30th, 2013 (4:01 PM).
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Akiba Akiba is offline
Crystal Tier
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: in a gap
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Nature: Brave
Posts: 4,260
I took the initiative to do it on a piece of paper.

After several hours of tweaking and twisting, the only sort of 'formula' I could think of was this:

[HP]=([Level]*[HP EV]*[HP IV]*[Life Essence]+[Stamina])/(100-(100*[Consciousness]))-250

A breakdown of this rather fictitious-seeming equation would be:

HP is equal to the in-game calculation of Pokemon HP, multiplied by the Pokemon's Life Essence, which is high with the vigor of youth and low with the senility of age, appended with its energy from a recent meal or drink (Calories), divided by the Pokemon's level of Unconsciousness, with 250 subtracted to ensure that the Pokemon neither dies nor faints, and is still able to use field moves, or even just sit out of battle.

I must be crazy.
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