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April 3rd, 2013 (3:41 PM).
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: The Cave of Hymns
I walked for next to her with my hands in my pockets. I fiddled around with the money in my pocket, my wallet, and then my cell phone. I always loved my cell phone, really, because with it I could text just like normal kids and nobody ever had to know I couldn't speak. I never had anyone to text of course, but the fantasy was always present. On a similar note, I enjoyed the Internet for a short while, though my parents found it to be distracting, and pointless. I even remember my father's saying, "Being connected to everyone at any given time, being able to get any information known to man, that is something dangerous." He would always point at me and continue, "Only leaders, scientists, and politicians should have access to something like that. People like us, only need to know who and what is around them. A narrow focus, thats all we need." I found it ironic that about two months later, our guidance counsellor would explain how important Internet profiling would be for colleges.
Nonetheless, I followed my father's advise on the internet, and generally only used it to buy something without a phone or do research on a rainy day. I always thought that maybe if I had stayed on, no matter who I met, I could make friends. A keyboard could be my vocal cords, and I would never worry about isolation. The anonymous nature of the Internet also interested me, though not in any creepy sense. I entertained the idea that one day I could do some awesome thing on the Internet, and since nobody could put a face to it, it would never lose credibility. Then sometime later, I could reveal myself when everyone had accepted what I had done, and they would respect me just like a normal person. Though the idea also made me think that the people who admired it at first may completely hate it after finding out it was me.
It really came down to whether I thought, on a particular day, that people where really good naturally, or really bad.
On this particular day, I could find myself seeing the race pretty good. And I didn't regret going outside today, as I made a friend in real life. One who, despite my lack of communication, genuinely accepted me. I felt bad though, talking to me had to feel awkward, like talking to a brick wall. I still desperately wanted to speak to her, and maybe anybody in this world. Maybe if I could speak, I could've told my father how great the Internet for people who where not politicians or scientists. I could've said to him, "But what about the languages you could learn in your home? The cultures you could experience in one finger motion? Think of all the medical practices you could tell the average joe to do in his home to stay healthy!"
The fantasy of something like that amused me, it captivated me. But I knew I could never make a good argument, and that even if Olivia accepted me as a friend I was somewhat of a bane.
As we continued to walk, I kept my hand on my wallet, but stopped touching my phone. It made me think too much.
College Bound, Mentally Sound.
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