James continued to examine London while Henry spoke to the others. He gave him enough attention to be able to butt in if he needed to, but he was fairly certain that his mind was made up. He had made up his mind when he decided not to walk out the taxi door that led to the airport in Hawaii. Or so he told himself. The reality was that even now James had some lingering doubts about it all. The incident at his work in the convenient store caused him to start running, but he had no set plan on where to go. A part of him probably would have likely never even got on that plane had he been given the opportunity. It was only during Henry’s interference that he was pushed to the decision, which came by much more hastily than he would have expected. After all, though he may hate the lifestyle, he still lived in the cozy Hawaiian atmosphere, and therefore some norms of the locals were instilled in him, despite his best attempts not to adopt their lifestyle.
Now, with a swing of the taxi door, Henry was inviting them to a fresh start. But to James, he believed the opening of this new door would forever close another one. If he stepped into that taxi and accepted the invitation, no matter where he would go from there, he would never go back to the life he had. That meant that everything he held onto before would forever be detached from him, all of the good along with the bad. His parents, his friends, his work, his belongings. It was likely he would never see any of that again. With these thoughts in mind, James turned as Henry addressed Nate and himself, waiting for his response on whether he would accept the invitation after Oakley did. James found himself debating more than he would have expected. It was an interesting thing. Had he been asked any other time, he would have dropped everything and went with Henry in a heartbeat. Now, when it was all actually happening, he hesitated. James learned there that giving up everything he knew was a lot harder than he realized, no matter what thoughts he had for his old life. Change, especially substantial change, was never easy to accept, even if it was sometimes for the best. The fact that Henry said that he would owe him some favor didn’t make it any easier, as James didn’t quite like the idea of owing anyone anything.
But James found himself thinking a lot more on this than he would have liked. He decided to give himself and ultimatum, a final chance to turn back or to go permanently forward. Whatever he would choose here, he would stick with it all the way, and leave all doubt behind. James inhaled as he took the first step toward the taxi, then found himself exhaling gently, feeling relieved and at peace with the decision he reached, the one he knew he wanted in his heart. He joined Oakley inside the cab, a slight smile creeping onto his face as the exuberance set in.
He looked out the window, examining the wreckage that the earlier incident had caused.
Henry had said that perhaps some of them needed somewhere to stay to be away from destruction like that. James on the other had hoped that in his new life he had just begun, this wouldn’t be the last demolished building he would see.
OOC: Posted for Supervegeta