Ehhh. It has varied quite a lot.
Ranging anywhere from things going pretty well, to points in time that I was worn down enough by dealing with my own problems that I didn't care about living anymore. That was kind of fun, though, because I lost all instinctive fear of getting hurt or dying. Meaning I could do stupid stuff without being afraid. :D
However, the problems causing that were my fault, and were the result of stupid decisions I've made. Despite it causing me to become the mentally unstable, self-destructive person I used to be, I don't regret what I did. Dealing with that has allowed me to learn to appreciate how much better things are now.
Also, as Sweets Witch mentioned below, it has been these years that got me to be the person I am now, and molded my life to be what it is. I like my life, so why would I want to change things?