Heartbreaks a Pain.
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May 8th, 2013 (3:12 PM).
Mine's sort of cringeworthy I guess.
Here's the story:
Five months ago I began to develop a crush on my best friend.
I spent these five months wondering how I was supposed to tell her.
I was very nice to her for this amount of time.
I eventually told her and she was sort of surprised. She spent that day being really nice to me and flirty and stuff.
The next five weeks I was so blindly infatuated that I couldn't see through her antics.
She lead me on for a whole five weeks. I eventually asked her if I should give up on the idea and she said.. yes.
Why did you flirt with me, hug me, kiss my cheek all the time, and talk to me sensitively like you did if you didn't want a relationship?
She dragged it out to play with me.
She didn't really care about me. I was so blinded I didn't even listen to my friend who said my crush was BSing me.
It hurt more knowing I spent that long looking like a fool in love with her.
She is the most beautiful, adorable person I've ever known and I can't have her.
Every step of the way closer to my school just hurts. Every day is another fight with myself.
I have been getting panic attacks worse and worse.
I even took up an old habit of smoking marijuana in my closet just to calm my mind. :\
I can't deal with all this.
I loved her so much. I was so nice to her. She flirted with me! She said she dreamed about me! She lead me on for so long.
Joined May 2011
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