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May 17th, 2013 (11:55 AM). Edited May 17th, 2013 by Kura.
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Horsham, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
Originally Posted by
What do you think of people who have sex often, with many different people?
Not really my business. If you're a **** shamer you're a ****ing ******* and need to grow up and understand that people are allowed to have as much sex as they like (as long as they aren't endangering people because that isn't good). I will never for the life of me understand what drives people to be so anti-sex or go "omg they slept with so many people before me now I'm insecure" get the **** over yourself and start to understand that people do what they want and they don't have to conform to your ****** ideals and standards.
Also on a sort of related note I've never really had intimate sex. Just hookups. Hah.
Your post sort of inspired me to write something, and I don't mean for it to be directed at you, but I'm using your quote as a base if you don't mind.. This is a sex thread after all, but I'm going to go off-tangent than to the questions asked. Pleeaaase don't be offended with anything below, as I don't mean to say you DON'T practice safe sex or anything like that, I am just using your post as an example. Ok here we go:
You know, the whole endangering people can be something really nondescript, and maybe you might not realize that there isn't just a black and white "safe or unsafe" sex.. so that's why it drives people to be so anti-sex (shaming, etc.)
Let me elaborate.
Did you know that
they don't screen men for HPV
in sexual screenings? It is actually a difficult thing to do, so pretty much all clinics wont do it unless you specifically ask (and then pay) for it. TBH.. I'm not even sure if you CAN test men for it. People can then basically say "yep I'm clean, I had my test." And then.. not be. Nasty HPV strings lead to cancers and warts (yes warts too!) Fun fact is that about 80% of the population contract some sort of HPV string at least once. Yes, in a sense you feel like you don't need to worry since you are a guy and it doesn't affect you.. but.. in retrospect.. does this sound safe to you?
Ok, you tell me, no big deal, I'm gay. (Wait, I don't mean to pinpoint you or gays specifically, just hear me out here..) Well here's that shade of grey: do you ever consider that the person you are with may be bisexual? That they would pass on that HPV to someone else unknowingly and that other person may suffer?
I think the biggest thing that people "**** shame" about isn't hurting someone on purpose.. it actually may be about unknowingly hurting someone.. and I guess that upsets some people.
"OK Kura" you (again not meant to actually pinpoint you.. I mean people in general would say to me) tell me "I wont hurt anyone, I use a condom 100% of the time!"
Well that's great.. but you also need to consider emotionally hurting someone. That includes having sex with someone under the influence of something (booze, drugs, etc) but not even just that.. but their state of mind. Sure maybe it is consensual at the time, but you don't really know if they're using sex as an escape or if they'll come to regret it after too.
For some, sex is fine and dandy, and others it is something more intimate and emotional. I wanted to post this because I wanted to inform you about risks that aren't really thought of because
most people just consider STDs and pregnancies, and not any other risks.
I'm not here to shame anyone, but when you say " will never for the life of me understand what drives people to be so anti-sex" you can understand that a certain amount of people who have sex freely also do not think of the full consequences, and are usually shamed for that. The more sex, generally.. the more risk (it's statistics.) It might go hand in hand with having a lot of sex might mean to others that there is a lot more carelessness. Should they shamed for being inconsiderate? Well that's up for you to decide. I don't think anyone would purposely shame people for practicing anything safe- but sadly there is that assumption that if you are having a lot of sex- you are doing it carelessly since there are so many factors to hone in on.
No one should be conforming to anything, I don't think.. but I feel that it's safe to say that if you aren't ready to handle the consequences (any of them: a child, emotional stress, infection, etc) then don't have sex. If you're gonna conform to anything.. let it be safe practice, people! :3 (Lol I sound like a mom..)
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