View Single Post
Old May 31st, 2013 (04:59 AM).
gimmepie's Avatar
gimmepie gimmepie is offline
Moderator, CS
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Australia
Gender: Male
Nature: Mild
Posts: 6,329
Okay since your new I'm going to be fairly thorough to help you improve.

Layout - Try to write proper paragraphs instead of writing sentences below each other in a list format. You may think it makes it look longer but it doesn't really help at all.

Appearance - You have the general Gist of this one but you need to a little more detail (try reading mine from the first page or Red's Hawt Chibi Pelippers' from the page before this).

Personality - You have got some good personality traits there but you need to put them together and be a little bit more detailed to really create a unique and interesting character. Use those traits and build his personality around them rather than just listing them.

History - Think of Who, What, When, Where, Why and How. Explain events further including how your character felt and how it affected him.

Pokemon - No complaints here.

"All right. I'll play a game with this endless June."

Roleplay Theatre | The Underground |
Lokiepie, Chalifoux & Crunch Punch
The Pie Bakery

Reply With Quote