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Old June 1st, 2013 (07:28 PM). Edited June 2nd, 2013 by DLMuerte.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
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I think it's finished, but run it over for me, okay?

Spoiler:
MAIN FACTS:
Name: Ryan Grove
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Location: New York City, New York, United States of America (GMT -5)
Title: ROGUE of KEYS
Color: Sienna Okay, really, it's brown.
ChumHandle: theoreticalSilence (TS)
OF HOUSES AND SUCH:
Home: Your home is the apartment at Building #600, at 157 St West, Apartment #21. The zip code is 10030 or something, but you’re not particularly picky about such trivial matters. It’s a large apartment, consisting of one long hallway with a bunch of doors. More specifically, the house has a long hall, which consists of a master bedroom on one side (your MOTHER’s bedroom) and splits between a smaller bedroom (your BROTHER’s room) and a large LIVING ROOM on the other side. Accessible from that same hall are the bathroom, two other rooms belong to you and your SISTER, and a kitchen. The KITCHEN is rather nice, and has a hall parallel to the main hall with one room, which happens to be RUFUS’s room, and ends at the LIVING ROOM as well. Because, naturally, I liek em’ tacos.

You spend most of your time in YOUR ROOM, which is arguably the best room in the world. It’s clean and organized, with some MEMORABILLIA from various VIDEO GAMES scattered across it as decor. You also have three MINECRAFT POSTERS on three of your four walls, which are all a light brown. You have a secret stash of PEANUT BUTTER, JERKY, WATER BOTTLES, and CRACKERS under your BED, which is in the far right corner. Your METROCARD and WALLET, a GURREN LAGANN MECH and your 3DS XL sit on a BOOKSHELF with your BOOKS. Your DRESSER is clean, and has a CHESS SET on top of it which you occasionally use. Your DESK is really three desks combined, one of them for WORK, one of them for your LAPTOP, and one of them for your collection of HAMSTERS. It’s complete with FOOD and DRINK for each one.

You have a large TELEVISION, which is hooked up to four GAME SYSTEMS, one being an extra COMPUTER. Your MOTHER got each one because she works at an electronics store as VP. It’s the centerpiece of your room, centerpiece not in the center, but meaning it is your CHILD and you will not hesitate to brutally murder anyone who touches it with the MACHETE lying on your wall. It’s all you have from your FATHER, besides a set of DUAL BLADES, which he fashioned himself based on a pair of blades from Rune Factory 3 (Force Divide), your WALLET, and a NECKLACE with a USB DRIVE, which it’s contents remain encrypted with a password. The DUAL BLADES are next to your MACHETE, and the NECKLACE is around your neck at all times.

Your MOTHER’s ROOM has never been touched by you. No matter how much you’d like to, you wouldn’t dare because you would probably be scarred by it. Your SISTER’s ROOM is a bright pink room, with a fluffy bed and loads of MIRRORS and PEACE SIGNS scattered across the wall. Your BROTHER’s ROOM is drab, and it only has a bed, a dresser, a closet, and a television. It’s walls are gray. Under his bed he also hides a secret stash of CANDY, which you swear is the most childish obsessions ever. But he does have a RESIDENT EVIL POSTER, which you have to admit is pretty sweet. RUFUS’s ROOM is a fitting room for a dog, with some CHEW TOYS, a BED, and some NEWSPAPERS which have to be switched often. The KITCHEN is just an average kitchen, with GRANITE COUNTERTOPS, a DISHWASHER, a BLENDER, a STOVE, a FRIDGE, HARDWOOD CABINETS, a SINK, a MICROWAVE, and assorted items which you would normally find in a KITCHEN. It has SUBWAY TILING on the walls. The LIVING ROOM is large, and doubles as a DINING ROOM because of a TABLE sitting on one side. Then there’s a TV, along with a large, L-shaped COUCH facing it, connected to TIME WARNER CABLE. It has olive-green walls. The entire apartment is covered in HARDWOOD FLOORING, and the halls are white.

Family:
-MOTHER- Your MOTHER is not exactly the recipient of all your affections. Although you love her, because she's your MOTHER and all, you don't hold too much respect for her. She's tall and usually wears a PROFESSIONAL OUTFIT that changes as often as you change RUFUS's NEWSPAPERS; it goes without saying that is very, very often. She has BLOND HAIR, but brown eyes, and passes it down to you, which you receive a bit gratefully. She is of IRISH DECENT. She likes VODKA and is never in a foul mood; but she's also quite the PUSHOVER, which you aren't. She's always in the mood for DUMB BLONDE JOKES, for some reason; you still don't understand how she's not offended yet.

-BROTHER- Your BROTHER is younger than you are, and he fits the role perfectly. He has a childish obsession with CANDY, as I said already, but he's very SKINNY and has bags under his eyes, which is a bit scary for a TWELVE YEAR OLD. His mess of HAIR is even worse than yours, and you cannot bring yourself to understand how your MOTHER would let him be. Thankfully, she doesn't, but she could do more for him. He also shares your love for VIDEO GAMES, but he's addicted and you call him a VAMPIRE for it. He always has his CURTAINS closed, the LIGHTS off, and seems to appear when you least expect it.

-SISTER- It is not exaggeration to call your SISTER your MOTHER's PRIDE and JOY, although you think she's just a total HIPPY. She's rarely ever HOME, always off at the UNIVERSITY, and she dorms there so often you're not sure if she has a stable living place. She's already gotten her BACHELORS in LAW, and now she's going for whatever else you have to do to become a lawyer, which you could care much much less about. She's obsessed with peace, apparently, but you know that she's really the biggest PARTYGOER in the world and your MOTHER seems to be blind to that fact.

-RUFUS- RUFUS is a DOG. It is in fact very obvious he is a DOG, because nobody would let a HUMAN leave their FECES on the floor. Specifcally a GOLDEN RETRIEVER, pure-bred, which you got a few months ago. He's still a PUP, but he stays with you all the time. This has both ADVANTAGES and DISADVANTAGES; although you love the damn thing, it seems you're the only one willing to go on POOPERSCOOPER duty. He's an ENERGETIC RASCAL, and usually follows you all over the place.

-HAMSTERS- These little dudes were going to be your LAB RATS, but you had pity on them and they witnessed the MERCY of a MAD SCIENTIST. That was some years ago though, and you've grown out of that phase. They now inhabit a large collection of pipes on a desk for NOSTALGIC PURPOSES. They also sit there because you don't really want to let them go, either, and they're very entertaining to watch.

-FATHER- FATHER was an odd man. He disappeared as a TOUR GUIDE a while ago, and he used to take every job he could without a DEGREE. At one point, he was even a BLACKSMITH, although it took a few months for him to realize that was out of the times in AMERICA. He was from the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC, and he spoke both ENGLISH and SPANISH because he was just that much of a boss. He had the same style of hair, which was extremely rare from where he came from; that mixed in with his brown SKIN made him a unique individual. He learned CODING and the like early on, but he was never able to get a DEGREE in anything because he never really found the time, and he wasn't really suited for such a tedious process. You got most of his POSSESSIONS after he died, which were little because many of his POSSESSIONS were actually his and your MOTHER's. He gave you a USB DRIVE when you were younger, which he eventually encouraged you to hack. He was the better out of you two, however, so now that he passed away you're going to need to learn how to on your own. Your FATHER was your role model when you were younger, and chronologically speaking he disappeared THREE YEARS AGO, after your THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY.
IN-DEPTH DETAILS:
Appearance: You're a rather lean young man, but you really don't need much description to be honest. Your face is the TRADITIONAL ROUND FACE common throughout many players of the GAME you're embarking upon, and your ears fit rather well into this context. You wear glasses, but you have a SCAR running across the top of your NOSE, which sadly doesn't really have an epic backstory, but was instead a stupid mistake involving your MACHETE and COOKING. Although it fits in nice. Your EYES are an average size; there's not much of anything special about them, although they are a nice LIGHT BROWN which matches the color of your ChumHandle. They're usually very passive, as is the rest of your face; besides the SCAR the rest of your face is rather plain. You're of a CAUCASIAN color (which in Homestuck would be categorized as that of any normal human), which reflects the looks you got from your MOTHER; however, the black mess which you call HAIR you have certainly reflects your FATHER.

You usually wear gray upon your chest, either in a HOODIE or a JACKET. Under that, you have a blue shirt with a USB DRIVE design on it. You usually wear BLUE JEANS, which have your hands stuffed into them often. In fact, your hands are nearly always stuffed in your POCKETS, that's just how you roll. If they're not, you're either SPRINTING, holding something, worried, or it's not you, period. If you're not wearing BLUE JEANS, it's BROWN CARGO PANTS. Occasionally, you will also wear BROWN CARGO SHORTS if it's hot, or during the summer. And, no matter what happens, you always have PEANUT BUTTER on you. If you don't, you walk to the nearest GROCERY and get one; it's just too useful not to have.

Your SHOES are not shoes, they are BOOTS. They are, in your own words (or rather, text), MANLY BOOTS OF THE MANLIEST KIND. Which they are. If not, you're wearing SNEAKERS, which are usually brown and do not really contribute to your appearance. You have been caught with blue ones before, and you will again, but you don't put them on too much and most of the time they are in your closet. You're often riding your MOUNTAIN BIKE to places, as the SUBWAY is often too crowded or it's just more convenient overall, and you're pretty awesome at it. Granted, you fall sometimes, and you were nearly run over by a BUS once, but besides that you're a pro. It's a dark green, and it has no particular design besides a few black "streaks" here and there and varying shades of green.

Personality Traits: You are a decent but stubborn TEENAGER. You tend to seem to be the LEVEL-HEADED one in a group because you’re calm, cool, and quiet, but you are truly quite SILLY. VIDEO GAMES are a passion of your’s, and you’re not the best at them but you definitely got some MAD SKILLZ. Your more recent favorite is MINECRAFT, but you don’t tend to discriminate and because of that you have many other VIDEO GAME ICONS around your room. You’re good at solving PROBLEMS and BRAINTEASERS, but if you get a RUBIX CUBE you will most definitely smash it on the floor within ten minutes. You also have a strange passion for PEANUT BUTTER, and if you’re alone in your room you will often stick your hand in a jar of it and begin eating, unless you have CRACKERS which then you dip them in with a precision that takes years to master. Or at least, so you think. You believe in EQUALITY, or at least EQUAL OPPORTUNITY. You're CURIOUS and INQUISITIVE, or at least you try to explore the WORLD as much as you can without being able to speak. You like ANIME, too, but it's not really a commodity in your life, you just occasionally catch up on whatever you're watching. Because of this, you also have a GURREN LAGANN MECH on your BOOKSHELF. You’re a master HACKER, but for the same reasons you haven’t opened the door to your MOTHER’s ROOM you haven’t cracked your USB DRIVE. Besides that, you’re quite content and also quite ADVENTUROUS, although this also makes you...

...quite RASH. You have a problem with AUTHORITY, you are impartial to VIOLENCE or CONFLICT, but most of all you cannot speak, and it's a natural cause... or at least not mental. You don’t remember why, but it’s really unimportant to you since it was when you were YOUNG and you don’t care anyways. Due to this, you usually write a quick text on your phone and show it to whoever you're speaking to. You don’t like to submit to AUTHORITY, which in this case means you have no respect for your elders unless they’re well over the retirement age. You tend to like the ideas mentioned by people your age, because ADULTS tend to infuriate you at some points, and also because you have a childish obsession with proving them wrong. You can be quite STUBBORN when you love any idea, because it’s your idea, simply put. You don’t think you need any more defense to that.

You've been HOMESCHOOLED since the SIXTH GRADE, since it's too hard to be in school when you're mute and Special Education classes were totally boring. You were "taught" up to Algebra II, but you know Pre-Calc because you taught yourself that far. You tend to read BOOKS a lot, since you tend to have the most free time out of everyone you know. You also make many THEORIES often, and you have fun trying to understand whatever nuclear physicists are researching, although it's usually futile. You traverse the INTERWEBS often, and you swear that MSPA must be the best website in the entire world.
MISC.
First Post:

Ryan Grove; 9:45 AM
HOME -> POST OFFICE

You have just woken up to your ALARM, which is a familiar noise to you. It is NINE-THIRTY IN THE MORNING, and although the POST OFFICE opens at TEN you decide to get a head start since you're planning to take the SUBWAY anyways. You decide you're going to be very QUICK about it, and so you grab your KEYS, your WALLET, and your METRO CARD with you, eager to get going, but only after you put on your GLASSES. Today you're getting a new game in the mail, and you're pretty sure it's called SHOME. Wait no, that wasn't it. It was SBURB. Yes, that's right. SBURB, the SBURB Beta. You're rather excited; you've been told this game could trump MINECRAFT, and although you doubt it, you've heard it's extremely advanced and you believe you're very privileged to receive the Beta. You leave a note for your MOTHER, although it is unnecessary because you then realize she has LEFT. The only ones left are your SISTER, your BROTHER, and RUFUS. Your HAMSTERS are sleeping, as they are mostly NOCTURNAL. Then you put on your sling backpack, which is primarily red, white, and black, and leave the house. You then see MOTHER outside, to your shock, coming back HOME.

"Your brother is sick." Her voice is worried.
I'm sure he's fine. You type quickly on your PHONE before showing it, smiling a bit.
"Y-yes, I hope so. It seems like a small cold, but I have to stay home today." You cannot identify whether this is unfortunate or if you are lucky, but you're starting to think it was the former before shrugging, waving, and walking off.

You enter the SUBWAY without a hitch. It happens to be raining in New York on that day, and as the TRAIN takes you about three stops away you cannot help but wonder what is so special about SBURB, and what will happen when you install the game on your LAPTOP. You're tremendously excited, and it is only until a BEGGAR walks up and asks for SPARE CHANGE when you refocus and notice him. You hand him a TEN DOLLAR BILL and step off the train, running up the stairs to thrust yourself into the morning air. You walk towards the POST OFFICE merrily, but you first abort into a GROCERY STORE for PEANUT BUTTER. Oh, the things you will do for it.

After you step out, you leave towards the POST OFFICE, and you grin happily, only before you notice that the JAR of PEANUT BUTTER taunts you from the inside of your jacket! You groan, one of the few noises a mute can muster, before you continue. Once you get home you will certainly treat yourself to some. You arrive at a matrix of PO BOXES a few minutes later, and you fumble for your keys but when you find them you are rather delighted and you open it up quickly. You reach in, hoping that you'll find something, that you'll find the BETA...

There's nothing.

You begin a series of epic breakdowns and confusion afterwards. Where could it be! it was going to be here today, you could've sworn, you mean, it was the date that they said they would... and at that moment, the MAILMAN walks in. You begin a VICTORY DANCE immediately.


Land of Cement and Peanut Butter. Ryan would love that.

But, really, I think I would have fun with whatever is thrown at me. But it would probably have to do with food.
__________________
<<very empty siggy here>>

I might not be dead! I might be. I dunno. Nachos.
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