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June 2nd, 2013 (12:01 AM).
You want to make something? Nope, because you suck at what you do and will never grow out of your habit to be that way. Besides, there's someone out there that is better than you at everything you do. And they're richer, and happier. You want to appreciate what others make and do? Maybe. Is that stuff cool or popular? Then no! You'll hate and one day crush those people that oppose you! You want to be appreciated of the stuff you do? Hell no, because you have no audience! They're bustling in the popular kid's town! You have no friends! Want friends? Not in a million miles would they accept a sociopath like you! Suicide? Hell no, or else the whole family goes down with the ship! What, you find joy in helping others? Nobody's going to ask help from you, and if you'd ask, they think you as a freak! So what, you're an idea machine, with no gas or ignition? No hope, but yet huge desire?
How about this: Ever looked at a mirror and talked to yourself? Feel more comfortable wearing a mask and costume? Let me straighten up the facts for you: THAT'S WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO. You can't see your face when you're talking, so that helps a bit, right? Helps to make friends? No. Okay, you're as silent as a ghost ship, sailing through life. Any bullies? Nah, they'd prefer someone who reacts. Any friends? Nah, they'd prefer someone who reacts. Exact same saying, isn't it? Fine, you chill out with some neat music. You got a whole collection, organized in case some angel comes down from heaven to ask. But the sound gets about as boring as grass on the 30th replay! And that sticks on you for months, perhaps years! Why listen to good music when they rot to your ears?
Alright, you get it now. No friends, no distractions, isn't that right? Turns out that THE INTERNET CAN BE PRETTY DISTRACTING. It's a giant time sink with nothing productive coming out anytime soon. Time to get away from that, what do you do most of the time after that? Open a book and read? That's a good one, you lazy sir, NO! You'll wander around the place, suddenly getting good ideas, writing them down, hum some cool tunes... until you get back on and by that time, it turns to useless drivel that sickens the mind. You'll puke at what you've been thinking, the most horrible ideas ever come up with! Can you do anything right?
Somehow, you managed to pull through. Let's show others what you've done! 10 seconds... A whole minute... 10 minutes... a whole hour? Suddenly, a clever but crushing response beheads your ambitions! Nothing is left, and they leave you for the flies. You think crying enough will do something? I'll save you the trouble: No, no, no. Your act, your wasted body liquids is smeared all over the floor, drying up into absurd dreams and hopes. Why ever bother trying? The experience of failure will pile up and be more visible than a birthday hat.
So why aren't you dead? Not a corpse yet? What's wrong, afraid of dying? Oh, you are? Continue your miserable existence then, I'll see you drowning in your tears in some point in the future!
How unfortunate. Even if you'd ever laid your eyes on a person exactly like yourself, both of you aren't open enough to find out that you could both be the best friends in the world. 3 minutes in, you're walking away, embarrassed talking so openly about yourself, and annoyed at meeting with a person so awkward at conversation. And guess what? The scars on your memory gathers, until you start lying your way out of every attempt of communication. And you get good at it, until you're so good, you fooled the person in the mirror. You, where are you going?
No matter where you go, you cannot deny the facts in front of you. Justice will have its way with you, and only you. Everyone else though, they're all smiles, and they'll smile in their coffins for all they cared. You? You don't smile. Everyone knows you're faking it. Stop lying to yourself. You're only burying yourself deeper into a hole without up or down, light or darkness, goals or dangers.
So we've made this clear: You despise the real world, you wish the universe never sprung out of nowhere. If you suffer more than you enjoy, why exist? Let's put that all aside, and look what fate conveniently placed in your brain. The best thing since eye sight: Imagination.
Damn the real world! Roller coaster, throwing toasters, painting porches, living torches; the only fun in your life will be from yourself. Dream, procrastinate, sing in the shower; it's the only thing that will drive you forward, and make you believe that when everyone ignores you, stays away from your hopeless soul, they are missing out on the great adventures an untamed mind could conjure up.
Joined Feb 2013
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