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June 2nd, 2013 (12:20 AM).
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Newbud town (Pokemon Morning/Night)
Originally Posted by
Alright, this is looking a lot better than before. Some of the sprites could use tweaking, but the grammar is much better.
Here are a few things that could use adjustment:
"Maple: I was out of the region for my studies, when your family shifted here."
"shifted" may be technically correct, but I would say "moved" instead.
"Is there something you want to tell me dear?"
There's a continuation, add a comma after "me".
"I heard some strange people talking about Lunar and Solar energy, When I was on my..."
The comma doesn't belong there, because it's in the middle of a though that's ongoing, not at a pause. "When" also should not be be capitalized, as it is not a new sentence.
I'm stoping everyone from harvesting the..."
Misspelled "stopping". Two p's.
Hope this helps!
Why thank you! I will correct those mistakes as soon as possible.
About the sprites, yeah I'm trying to make them more attractive and better as I proceed.
Also Known As:
M.Ahmad. The clawbat.
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