Thread: [Pokémon] Closed Door
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Old June 16th, 2013, 05:13 AM
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bobandbill
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Age: 22
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This was a neat concept and well explored, I felt, Astinus. I think it'll work well as a set up of your AU.

Quote:
In those months, she had many visitors. Even Professor Oak took the time out of his day to see her. He apologized to her, many times in that day and beyond. If only he had known. If only he had a Bulbasaur or a Charmander. No, a Squirtle just like Ash always wanted. But Gary Oak took the Squirtle and was off battling in tournaments.
Damn that Gary Oak!

I agree in part with dudebot's point about her reaction to visiting his room and thinking about his death. I feel that a bit more emotion could have been had there, but I do agree that the dull pain feeling makes sense if it's a good year and so after, and I don't think a sliding down the wall and crying reaction is quite the extent to reach (and perhaps a bit too cliché?). It could also take away from the flashbacks/thoughts about Ash as well, in a way. My thoughts anyways, each to their own I suppose.
Quote:
Ho-Oh had always been her son's favorite Pokémon, and he told her one day that he was going to find it. It was his dream, right after becoming a Pokémon Master.
I don't recall too much about the anime, but I think that Ash hadn't know what Ho-oh was when he saw it? Although this can be ignored in favour of this being an AU story, of course.
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