ER MAH GERD, IT'S NEW YORKZ!
Part The Second.
New York City, Mothertrucker!
Theme: Empire State of Mind - Jazy-Z & Alicia Keys [Ed Sheeran Cover] & People Like Us - Kelly Clarkson
Five seconds... Just what in the world is taking that woman so long? I’m... so... hungry, was the only thing Nikk could think off. That, and how ridiculously cold it was.
Today we have a 9000% chances of it being annoying-ass cold, with a few chances of bullcrap here and there. Tomorrow, all survivors will get to watch the much expected finale of our documental series “Doughnuts: Friend or Foe”.
Nikk stirred from his insane thoughts when he felt a tug from Natalie, “C’mon let’s go.”
“W-What?” Nick had failed to realize the presence that was now dragging him around the dotted sidewalks of the big apple. Furthermore, he had just realized this very presence was Natalie’s, “Is there a reason for which you decided that this media of transport would be appropriate for our social meeting?”
“Have you been looking at a Shakespeare’s dictionary again?” Natalie asked.
A pause followed, along with an innocent grin and a short laugh, “Ain’t that what I always do? But seriously, let go off me already...”
Natalie sputtered, she forgot that she was holding his hand and literally manhandling him across the big apple. A blush formed on her face and she felt the urge to slap herself, “Right, sorry, I completely forgot.”
“S’okay,” Nick shook his arm slightly as to prevent it to fall asleep. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but that tends to happen when you’ve been dragged for a while for no particular reason, “So... where is this bakery at, exactly?” He ended asking as he admired the hordes of taxi cabs that drove next to them.
“What?” Natalie asked in disbelief, “I thought you knew where it was! You recommended that we go there! I even asked my sister about whether or not that bakery was worth eating at!!”
“How is it that after all this time you’re still surprised by this?... I suggested we went to this bakery. I never even said I knew where it was!” He was shaking his hands all around with quick gestures as he tried to defend himself and his clumsiness.
“Smarttass,” Natalie sighed, “Let’s just take a taxi or something, they should know what we are talking about.”
And so they boarded a cab. And they began a journey of grandeur towards the mysterious bakery of Magnolia. In the road they couldn’t help to notice a movie theater. In which a movie called “ALIEN UNICORNS FROM BEYOND” was screened.
“I honestly don’t understand how that movie is so popular...“ Nikk said as he sighed. Humanity.
It seemed this movie was made by some John Jackson... or was it Jack Johnson? There’s this Carlos guy, who knows Consuela from their childhood. Then suddenly aliens fall from the sky and abduct them. They go on great adventures and engage in weird, hot steamy action with these creatures as they create a new hybrid species.
Funnily enough, this hybrids destroy Earth... Aliens, which are also unicorns. Ridiculous, indeed, but what did you expect from today’s society?
“‘Is there any hope for humanity?’” Natalie quoted, “That’s what you would say anyway.”
“No way...” Yes way.
“Sure,” Natalie hid a laugh, “Remember those strange texts I got last week?”
“Yeah?” Of course he didn’t.
Natalie stared at him for a minute, obviously knowing he probably didn’t remember, “They got even stranger. It’s not even an actual text anymore.”
“Huh?” He was now actually concerned for the situation, “Could they be trolls or something? They tend to be that obnoxious.”
“Would trolls repeatedly send me the song ‘I Will Survive’ at ten in the morning?” Natalie asked sarcastically, “I couldn’t get it to stop, so I had to wait for the person to stop sending it. I had to wait two goddamn hours.”
Nikk couldn’t help but let go of a laugh. By which it should be understood that the guy exploded in laugh. Although it was short, and luckily he managed to control himself... somewhat.
“Well...” he continued as he placed his hand on her shoulder, eyes locked in hers, “I think your phone hates you.”
Natalie laughed, “Maybe,”
“A’ight, ye’ punks! Bak’ry o’ Magnolia it is, nao get the hell out of my transportalizing vehicle of yellow!” The taxi driver was soon to expel them from his holy domains with an atrocious stop as they finally reached the bakery. At this point, Natalie thought he was drunk. Nikk found him to be rather colorful.
Still... what a douche.
“Lemme help you out.” He said as he got down and extended his hand towards Natalie.
“Why thank you Sir Parsson,” Natalie smiled. She took his hand and squeezed it lightly and imitated the elegance of a queen as she got off the taxi.
“Why, you’re welcome, miss---” He was interrupted by the atrocious cab that had left a cloud of smoke right in front of him while the driver just kept calling them punks. He just kept coughing for a while.
“Let’s just get into the goddam bakery already.” He tried to control himself and failed... Miserably.
“Right,” Natalie agreed before adding, “Well at least he isn’t on crystal meth. He seems to be obviously on alcohol.”
“Story of every taxi driver’s life, it seems...”
Natalie attempted to guide Nikk with grace manhandled him into the two story bakery, which had no resemblance to a bakery in an anime about digital monsters and their creepy obsessions with children. Still, the bearclaws called for them both with their hypnotizing aroma, which extended outside the building like in cartoon shows. White stripes of delicious aroma hovering around and all.
“You’re drooling,” Natalie commented.
“Huh?” He quickly saw the intruder’s presence in his lips and wiped it away with one of the many chunks of paper in his pockets. You can never have too many of them. He then disposed of the brave soldier of paper that had served his purpose in life.
“Why do you keep using binder paper to clean up your face?” Natalie asked.
“Do you want to walk inside or not?” He scoffed as he felt his stomach crumble with the force of all greek gods (at least the important ones) at the same time.
“Right, right, sorry,” Natalie apologized. She opened the door into the bakery and was revealed a world of wonders. Unicorns chewed on the tile floors, leprechauns were visible in the back arguing about beer and the best ways to get drunk, and fairies flew about in the store. Well, it was what Natalie could compare the store too anyway.
The place was oddly happy looking. The walls were a color of bright, blinding pink, the tables were cute, circular shape, and the chairs had comforters, and off to the corner, near the bathrooms, was a cardboard cutout of a bunny that looked as if it was high on drugs. The cases containing bread and other pastries were outlined with white fluff and streamers. The bubblegum pop music just topped all the happy decorations off, ranging from psychedelic beats to songs about plastic bags. Everyone’s Nikk’s tastes, it seemed.
“After you.” Nikk pointed with his hand towards the counter as he finished closing the door behind them.
“You didn’t bring any money did you?” Natalie concluded.
“I--Of course I did!” he quickly replied in his defence as he, for once, manhandled Natalie towards the counter. Isn’t their relationship just beautiful?
“Here,” Nikk decided to place, no, threw a bunch of coins and dollars over the counter, “Bearclaws, please. And keep the change, dear pastry concessionaire.” He finished with a grin towards Natalie, “I just so happen to have money... for once.”